Thursday, July 18, 2013

I Am Not Ashamed (Don't Judge Me!!!) Of My Supernatural, Demonic Inspired Fears

   If you've been reading, you know that sometimes I tend to go off on weird paranormal tangents involving evil furbies and demonic checkstands and possessed furniture  and you may be wondering, do I really believe in this crap? Those who have known me since childhood are now frantically nodding their heads yes. Because I do. I mean, some of this stuff that I have written in the blog is somewhat jokey, although I am afraid of dolls. They have dead eyes; dead eyes that follow you around the room. Test it; you'll see. But I don't really think the furbies are summoning hell into unsuspecting victim's living rooms (hopefully not, yikes!)
   But I do believe that there are some strange things out there, and that we can't, and never will be able to, explain all of the weird things that happen. Not that I am ever gonna be the person paying some nut thousands of dollars to contact my dead, and I do believe that my dead are in heaven, but there is some really weird shit out there. And if you believe in heaven, and angels, then devils and demons tend to go hand-in-hand with that. I have never been possessed (Thank you, God!!!) but I do believe that there are people out there who have suffered and are currently suffering through this.
   So why do I torture myself with horror games and movies? Well, for one thing, nothing has ever scared me as much as the shit that I think up on my own, and I have had a very active imagination since childhood. And I have been plagued by horrible, realistic nightmares ever since I can remember, before I was even allowed to peek at something scary. And not watching a movie doesn't change some of the things that I have seen with my own eyes. So movies and such don't bother me. Well, no, they scare me, but it's not like fear would be absent if I gave them up. And they aren't real, which is a comfort, because I freaked out during the first Paranormal Activity when that girl got pulled out of her bed and dragged down the hall. And that's my quality time with my sister. Not giving that up. Scary movie nights will continue until one of us is dead.
    But I have been scared of the dark since birth. I am the older sister, but I used to get in my little sister's bed every single night because I was scared. She has never let me forget. She even reminded me, this very week, that I used to get in bed with her even though she was constantly peeing the bed. What can I say? Pee is nothing compared to what might be lurking in the dark. And my parents were not big on nightlights, and for me, nightlights aren't enough. I keep the hall light on at night. Even now, at 31. My daughter appreciates me. And  I don't even care if she comes to crawl into bed with me because something spooked her. I understand! Come on, get in my bed! (She almost never does.)
My own way includes rosaries, which  I love. 
    That's not to say that I believe everything that I hear. Some people are nuts, and don't come at me speaking in tongues and expect that  I won't smack you. Get your crazy ass away from me; if you aren't crazy, then I don't want you next to me even more. Keep your demons to yourself! I am not a freaking priest; wrong gender entirely. I guess there are some denominations that allow female preachers, but even though I don't really follow organized religion (I like to believe in my own home, in my own way), I was raised Catholic, and  I just don't know much about other denominations, or other religions, Christian or not. Regardless, there is some freaky shit out there, and don't come up next to me possessed with something; I am not the one to expel that shit. Get away from me.
    The list of things that  I am afraid of is long and extensive, including the dark, mirrors, clowns, rats, demons, ghosts, evil ax murderers, dolls, and everything in between (strangely, spiders and snakes do not bother me). Of course, you can't live your life huddled in the corner because some things scare you, and I don't. What I do is that I regularly acknowledge my fears and make fun of myself for being such a fraidy-cat wuss. And that's were all those posts come in. I mock my fears openly and publicly. It's hard to be afraid when you are laughing, and so I laugh a lot. And I refuse to be ashamed of my fears, because actually, I think that some of them are founded. I've seen weird, scary things. And if you go into a room filled with people, and start talking about hauntings or other supernatural things, you usually find that almost everybody has a story. And the person who doesn't have a story is usually (stressing usually here, people, which means not always) the uptight, straight-laced, I-believe-in-nothing (and I am not talking religion here) person, and then you kinda have to wonder: if they weren't wearing their asses as hats, would they have a story? I'm sure that it's hard to see anything, supernatural or not, with your head jammed in places that heads just weren't meant to go.  There are freaky, scary, supernatural things out there. So why should I be ashamed of being scared of them?

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