Friday, May 31, 2013

Register 6 -- Again

   Previously, I have written a blog about how register 6 is infested with gremlins. I would like to revise that particular opinion at this time, because I feel that gremlins are way to mild a creature to be possessing that maniacal machine. There is something else going on here.
   Today was a perfect example of the problem. That check reader/printer was choosing customers to mess up on -- I swear it was. Customers in a good mood, the check reader would scan the check fine, and would print up all the relevant deposit information on the back. But customers in a bad mood; all hell would break loose. I'd run the check, then the problem would start. Whir-whir-whir for two minutes while some "I'm on my lunch break and in a hurry" customer glared at me like they were gonna suck my soul out through my nose if I did not get a move on. Hey, if you are in a hurry, why'd you write a check in the first place? That's what I wanna know, but I digress. The customer would be glaring, only for me to get a printer jam message and the message that the routing number was still needed, which basically means, type that biatch in by hand. Then get the deposit info to print and wait two minutes while the machine whir-whir-whirred so that the cash drawer would open.
   Okay, aggravating, and supremely suspicious that this machine was doing this only for the grumpy grumpkins coming through my line, but I can deal with this. My extremely overworked bookkeeper swears that this machine only does this with me, but I have this down anyway. I can handle this. But the machine -- it's not done with me. No-- it has some new tricks in store for me.
   I come to a point where I need to get a balance printed for a food stamp card, and the paper, after all that whirring is done, comes out blank. Are you kidding me? So I have the customer run the card again and get a receipt printout of the balance, and when all that is taken care of and I have the customer on their way, I pop that printer door open, and the receipt tape has jumped the tracks. Throughout the day, the stupid receipt tape keeps jumping the tracks, but only on food stamp balance info and a few WIC checks. The WIC checks aren't a huge deal, but people get suspicious of you when you are asking them to run their cards extra times, so I am spending time promising people that I am not charging them extra or anything funky like that. While I understand their concern, I am beginning to feel put-out that I am having to so fervently swear to these people that I am not charging them extra. Really, people?
   And it hits me. This damn register is possessed. Forget gremlins, this thing is a demon from hell, bent on the destruction of my sanity. I see you, register demon, I see you. 

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