Random Thoughts And A List Of Things That Scare Me

.  So here I am, in a much better mood, still using my daughter's IPad to write my blog posts and still needing to charge the Bluetooth keyboard that she has for it. So many things in this apartment needs to be charged that one of the first things you notice when you walk in the door is this massive pile of chargers by the door plug, which we never use for anything but charging various devices. Silly, but there you have it.
   I'm in a better mood because, despite my fears, I was able to manage to pay all my bills by their due date. Late bills are just a real fear for me, I guess. Until this last month, it was a fear that I wasn't really aware of. I mean, I knew I didn't like to be late, but I didn't realize that late payments would throw me into massive panic and an emotional breakdown. And it's fine if that makes you roll your eyes, because trust me, mine are rolling away. Good grief, Marie. And on that note, I'm releasing in today's post, a list of the ridiculous fears that I harbor, because why not? If you can't make fun of yourself, then really, you shouldn't dish it out, and I like to mock ridiculous things, so there you have it.
   And here's my list.

• The dark
• Lice
• Late payments of bills
• Working self check
• Register 6
• Dolls
• Strong body oders
• The check lady who goes through my line and acts like the girl from the exorcist when ID her
• Demons
• Ghosts
• Rats
• Too much perfume
• The church guy who chased after me while I was trying to pay rent to give me his church's business card
• Aggressively friendly people who smile too much
• The person who comes through with 10 WIC checks, and they're all wrong
• Everything else

   At any rate, those are real fears. And in closing, and completely unrelated, but who cares, my daughter has gotten really into the Sims. And I know that nothing competes with the computer versions, but my computer is garbage. So for Christmas, I got her a Sims Pets for the Xbox 360, which was mine and in the living room, but somehow ended up gravitating to her bedroom. I digress though, Sims Pets, that was what I was talking about. My daughter is making a crazy cat lady with her Sims game, and I was cracking up, because it's a real thing on the game. You have to make a woman with traits of insanity and cat lover, she has to have 5 cats and she has to become best friends with all of the cats and she has to declare the social services person her arch nemesis. Why does that crack me up so much? Whatever, it does.

   Have a good day, folks.

The Trials Of A Self Check Attendant

7 a.m. Two out of six machines are down. CRAP. Two out of six machines, and it's Sunday. Shoot me now.  Take the few moments of boredom and no lines to clean the 4 working self check stations. No sir, that one's down, there an out-of-order sign right on it. Use this one.

7:30 a.m.: Dry ice. Dry ice. It's okay, it's not busy yet. I can handle the combination locked - don't touch it with your bare hands or you'll burn yourself, I'm wearing gloves for a reason here, please, hands out- dry ice. Yes, I know you need help too, person on the other machine. As soon as I'm done with this dry ice, I'll be there.

8:30 a.m. One of the machines is out of every type of coin we have. Fill it before lines get crazy. Unlock three people's machines while filling out the coin order slip. No - self check does not do money orders. No, I can't ring up your order for you; we have regular checkstands for that. No, you can't buy that seedless whole watermelon for the price of a personal watermelon. No. No. No. No. Coin order slip filled. Dry ice. No, I can't ring up your order for you. Customer service is open now, you can get a money order there. Coin order delivered to self check, start filling machine. Instant line. These people can smell when I'm filling money, I swear, and of course, now there is only 3 working self check stations while I am working on the one. Yes, I can approve your beer. Yes, I can unlock your station. Yes, I can tell you how to do that. (Shit, I have to fill this money so I can get this back open.) SHIT! Gotta fill this money. DRY ICE!!!! Please, God, no. I mean, sure, I can get that for you. (Why is the self check in charge of the damned dry ice?!?!)

Thumped on the shoulder while getting dry ice. WHY are you touching me? I will be there as soon as I'm done with this customer. Why is your station not letting you scan? Have you bagged the last item you scanned? No, you took all the bags off the bagging station? Well, that'll do it. 

9:00 a.m. Thank God for my break. 

9:15 a.m. Back to work. No I can't ring your order for you. No, you have to go to customer service to get a refund. No, it's around 15 items allowed. You have a full cart. You can't scan? Took all the bags off the bagging station? That'll do it. No, those aren't onions. Those are peaches. They cost more. 

9:30 a.m. What's with the dry ice? 4 bags? No, it's .98 a pound, not .98 each. No, it comes in about a 10 lb bag, give or take. No, I can't cut exactly a pound. Yes, I can break off a piece, no I can't make it exactly a 1 pound piece. Why? They didn't give me any way to do that. I throw it on the floor to break it, open it up, and give you a piece. No, don't stick your hands in. Dry ice will burn you; I'm wearing gloves.  No, I can't ring your order up. Why in God's name are people writing checks here? Do that with a regular cashier. No, the machine can't take your check. I'll have to suspend your order, take you to my podium, and pull your order back up so I can take your check. Yes, if you have debit, please use it. No, I can't access your pin. No, I can't see what you type. I'm not looking. Yes, I can get you dry ice. (Damn shitting-ass dry ice. Why can't they at least give us a key lock? Stupid combination's a pain in the ass.)

10 a.m. Lines. Shit. Lines. Only 4 machines. God, everyone needs to be unlocked. STOP TAKING YOUR GROCERIES OFF OF THE BAGGING STATION. If they don't fit, you have too many. The sign right-freaking-there clearing says: About 15 items. 50 is too many. No, I can't refund that. Customer service is right that way, they can fix that for you. No, I don't know what's wrong with the coffee machine. Or the coke machine. The Redbox is outside. No, that's not peanuts sir, those are cashews. What's the difference, you ask? Cashews cost more. When you ring one item up on a station, and you move to another station, sir, I have to close down the first station until I can get a supervisor over here to approve the voided order. Oh, it wouldn't scan anymore? Did you bag the first item you scanned? No? That'll do it. 

10:30 a.m. Effing dry ice. What do you mean, you just wanted to look at it? It's dry ice, not the Sistine Chapel. No, I can't do a money order. No, you can't take your bags off of the bagging station; it locks the station up. Yes, you still have to give your ID for alcohol. Doesn't matter if it's self check, you still get carded. Yes, I really need your ID. NICE TRY 20 YEAR OLD ASSHOLE. No beer for you. DRY ICE?!?! Are you gonna buy some, or are you just taking a tour?

11 a.m. Thank you, LORD! It's lunch time. I'm leaving. I'm leaving. I wanna see my daughter. Why? She won't ask me for dry ice, that's why. 

11:30 a.m. *whimpering* I'm back. It's okay. It's okay. No, I can't refund that, customer service is right down there, they can take care of that for you. No, I don't know what's wrong with the coffee machine. No, you can't take your bags off of the bagging station until you've paid. I just told you not to do that. Yeah, it's locked. Holy crap, stop touching me, people. I can see you, but there's only one of me. I'll be there as soon as I finish with the current customer. No, that's Dasani water. Store brand is cheaper. It has to be redone. No, you put two items in that bag and only scanned one. Yes, that does lock the system. The bagging station is a scale; it knows when you put too much weight on there. The Redbox is outside. Your kid can't sit on the bagging station, sir. Yeah, it's locking up because your kid is on the bagging station. Holy crap, dry ice? WHY?

12 p.m. Please, please leave all your bags on the bagging station until you are done. No, I can't ring up that order for you, we have several checkers, however, that will be happy to do that for you. What do you mean, I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING. You can't ring up those bulk Jelly Bellies as assorted wrapped candies, sir. No, they aren't the same price. Highest priced candy rung as lowest price candy does not make my boss happy. Fine, if you don't want it anymore, I'll take it. No, please don't touch me. I'm see you, don't touch me. I was voiding items off of an order, as soon as I finished I was coming. I did say, "I'll be there in a minute." No, I can't ring your order for you. Yes, I can tell you how to ring your produce on your own. No, those aren't regular bananas, those are plantains. They cost more, yes, but they are still plantains. Ma'am, your kid can't sit on the bagging station. She's not hurting anything? Is your machine locked? Yes? That's because your kid is sitting on the bagging station, which is a scale. 

12:30 p.m. Return of the dry ice. Oh, you were just looking? When I have a line wrapped around the front of the store and only 4 working self check stations? Sure, why not. No, I can't do refunds. Redbox is outside. Yay! The coffee guy is here to fix the coffee machine! No, I can't ring your order. No, that's way too many items. Oh, your gonna ring them all up anyway. Yes, I enjoyed unlocking your machine over and over and over again because you had too many items. It was awesome. Seriously? You're coming to self check with a coinstar slip? OH HOLY SHIT! I have to chase the lady with the unpaid $57 order into the parking lot, because she DIDN'T PAY. Bring her back in to pay, then deal with two customers who accuse me of running out of the store because ' I didn't want to do my job', get price check on 24 piece deli chicken. No, you can't take the bags off of the bagging station until you are done. Customer service is that way. Yes, I can approve your alcohol; yes, I need to see your ID first. 

1p.m. Get price check on coffee creamer. Price is wrong; fix price for customer. Customer demands to know what will be done to punish the person who put in the price wrong. Demands name. Gets mad when I won't give a name (honestly, I don't know how pricing works, so I don't know what to tell him anyway). Looks pointedly at my name badge. "I'll see you, Marie." Ummm, okay. I'll be here. Dry ice, of course. Please, ma'am, don't get my attention by grabbing my shoulder. No touch-y no feel-y, please. Lines. Chaos. Locked self check stations as far as the eye can see. No, I can't ring your order at my podium. I know all the self check stations are full, but I still can't ring your order here. Tell a woman I can't process a return at self check, and point customer service out to her only to have her scream, "But that's what I'm asking you to do!" and storm off in a fit of rage. No time to process that, I have machines to unlock. Please, leave your bags on the bagging stations. Please, ring up your items before you put them IN the bagging station. Please, that's a cabbage, not a lettuce. No, that cabbage didn't weight .2 lbs. I have to redo it. 

1:30 p.m. Last break. Almost there. Almost there. 

1:45 p.m. Coin accepter is jammed. It'll be just one minute ma'am. It's gotta work the stuck coins out. Unlock two machines, check on jammed machine. Oh look, it's still jammed. Yay. Unlock another machine. Coin accepter is no longer jammed. Yay, now you can stop glaring at me and pay. I wanna go home. Yes, I can give you change. No, I can't ring your order up for you. No, you can't put the bags into your cart until you are done. 

2:00 p.m. Why is everything flashing at me? Leg cramp! Leg cramp! Yes, I can limp over there and unlock your machine. Yes, I can approve your beer. Sorry, your card declined, and I have to get a supervisor to put in a code. Oh, you don't want it anymore? I'm sorry. No, I'm sorry, I have to get a supervisor to cancel this order, it's still unavailable. That one is out-of-order, sorry, you can't use it. No, you can't use it. No, it's not working. Yes, I know there is a line. It's still broken though. Dry ice? Sure, why not? Yeah, I would love to not have a combination lock on this cooler. NO, don't stick your hand in there, it'll burn you. Yes, I can unlock your machine. 

2:30 p.m. Unlock. Unlock. Unlock. Unlock. Approve beer. Approve beer. Approve beer. It's all a blur. Customer service; down there. Redbox: outside. Leg cramp!!! Leg cramp!!!! Unlock. Unlock. Unlock. Yes, the coffee machine has been fixed now. That self check machine is out of order. It's out of order. No, it's broke. Yes, I know there is a line. I don't know how to fix it. No, I don't know how to fix it. 

3 p.m. Almost there. Almost there. Stupid damn leg. What the hell? Unlocking everything. Please, don't move your bags until you are done. Don't touch me. Blur, blur, it's all a blur.

3:30 p.m. Off the clock! Off the clock!! Dry ice! NO! I'm off the clock. Sorry. She'll help you! FREE, AT LAST!!!!

Finding A Waterfall

   I've written a bunch of rants lately, and so I wanted to share something else with you all. I mean, we all have a lot to rant about, I'm sure, but life is more than the things that get us fired up and pissed off. So I want to share a story about a customer who had taken the time to remember that life is about being spontaneous and adventurous and making memories with family.
   I had this woman come through my line, and to my knowledge, I had never seen her before, but she was just bouncing with excitement with the most ginormous grin on her face. This was sometime last week, I think, on a Saturday, and it was one of those hot days that we recently had. Her order was a bunch of picnic-type foods, and she says, "I bet you can guess what we are doing today?"
  "Going on a picnic?" I asked, playing along because while I am not really the most talkative person, her happiness was infectious.
   Her grin got even bigger and she told me, "I don't usually get Saturdays off, so this is the first Saturday I've had off in years, I think. I asked for it special, and my boss was like, really?!, but I wanted it, and I decided I was going to take advantage of having a Saturday off. So when I woke up this morning, I asked my kids, East or West."
   "Why East or West," I asked.
    She laughed, "That's what my kids asked too! But today, I am going to find me a waterfall. And I am going to sit by it and have lunch."
   I have no idea whether or not she found her waterfall, but there are plenty in Washington, so I am sure that she found one. I don't usually remember very many customers (I literally check out hundreds of people a day), unless they are mean (meanness is just more memorable, sadly) or they have come through my line so many times that they are starting to feel like friends rather than just people I see at the check-out, but  I remembered this woman, because she was so happy and so excited, and I remember thinking that what she was doing that Saturday was going to end up being a really neat family memory for her kids: the day mom decided to go chase waterfalls. She was one of the good ones that stuck with me, even after the day was over. I hope that she found her waterfall.

Snoqualmie Falls, one of Washington's waterfalls, within driving distance

Dignity? What's Dignified About Your Behavior?

   There is a lot of hardship in this country right now. People are struggling, and I don't deny that. But some of these people who are struggling, they could be doing just a little bit better if they would just put their pride away and find some work, any work. You know, minimum wage might not pay the bills, but you know what also doesn't pay the bills? No wage at all.
   I lived, once upon a time when I was young and stupid, with someone who refused to work at places like grocery stores or fast food chains because they were 'beneath' him. He stayed at home, not even drawing unemployment because the reason he had been fired left him ineligible for that type of compensation, and watched his family suffer while he refused to even apply at certain places because they would have been a 'step down.' I have very little tolerance left for this type of attitude, so when people come at me with their complaints about how they can't take a job like mine, because those types of jobs are beneath their dignity, they tend to get Marie's ultra-special-glare-of-death.
    I actually had a woman tell me that she was going to go apply for foodstamps because she couldn't find a job in her old field, and she just wasn't going to waste her time applying for jobs that were 'beneath her dignity', which, yes, was the exact phrasing that she used and the inspiration for this whole post. Because when we are talking about something being against people's dignities, I would think living off of foodstamps when you are physically and mentally able to work would be 'beneath your dignity'. I would think that a person looking for work would only be working 'beneath their dignity' if they took work that involved some sort of illegal activity or immoral behavior. That would be beneath your dignity. But ringing up groceries, flipping burgers, waiting tables, these are not beneath anyone. These are not shameful jobs.
   Maybe these jobs are not illustrious, prestigious positions, but hey, no one ever said that you had to make these positions your final destinations. The little gas station job you found could just be a place-holder job until you find something better. You know, there is no law that states that you cannot continue to look for a better position just because you've taken one position already. And while you look for that position, you have a job that keeps a largish unemployment gap off your work history - gaps that can make landing any position difficult because employers tend to not want to hire people who appear to have large periods of time where they are not working. Honestly, sometimes that is kinda unfair, because there are a lot of parents who choose to stay home with the kiddos for a while before getting back into the work force, and their unemployment gap is not due to laziness or lack of motivation, but instead is due to responsibility. But other times, these lengthy unemployment gaps are due to junior not wanting to take a job flipping burgers after graduation.
    You know, we all have our personal dreams and ambitions, and I am in no way saying to give them up. In no way am I saying that; I think you need to chase those dreams and ambitions with everything you have. But if everything you have involves sitting on your couch eating Cheetos while you bitch about the lack of 'suitable jobs', well, I'm sorry, but I don't think you have much. I don't think you are going to reach your goals and achieve your dreams in this manner. And at the end of the day, I have one hundred percent more respect for the person who waits my table than I do for the person who refuses to work at all. I mean, isn't that a given? One is being a productive member of society and the other is... whining. I would think that would be 'beneath someone's dignity'. But then, what do I know of this type of hardship? I'm only a single mom with two college degrees, who rings up groceries. Wait... maybe I do know what I'm talking about here. Get up off your ass and go find a job. 

Mom Versus Mom - When Will It End? (Part Second)

   Sometime last week, I had someone really hurt my feelings. Someone I admired, someone who probably honestly just thought they were helping: just giving some friendly advice. What they did was they just talked to me about how much better a stay-at-home mom is then a working mom. Better because a stay-at-home mom is home with the kids more, and so the kids are not neglected like a working mom's kids are; better because they home school, so their kids are more educated then my child, who goes to a public school; better because they are more nurturing, more hands-on, and that I really should be that way as well.
   This did really hurt my feelings, because I am a working mom. I have to be - either that or be homeless. Or, about eight years ago, I could have decided to remain in an abusive relationship that was harming me in every way possible, so that I wouldn't have to be a single mom. Considering my choices, I believe that I have made the best choice possible. But regardless of whether anyone agrees with that or not, all I can do is say: my daughter is not neglected. She is taught morals and ethics -- by me, not the TV, or the babysitter, or the public education system. In short, I do my best.
   Yes, she is in public school, but she is in a pretty decent one, and I talk to her everyday about her day in school, and sometimes, I even volunteer. I do my best, and while I am not against homeschooling, for us, that was never an option in the first place. I believe that academic teaching requires a certain skill set, and frankly, sometimes I still have to add on my fingers. I am lacking that skill set required. Now, I agree that there are some teachers in the education system who unfortunately are lacking that skill set as well, but I keep a close eye on my daughter and the work she does, and what she is learning, and if she still likes school, and everything that I can possibly think of that might signal that she has run afoul of one of these teachers who should not be teaching. But my daughter's education is proceeding nicely. She is a smart girl, and she knows she can talk to me, and I have some high hopes for her future, and my working is not infringing on those hopes. In short, I do my best.
   Sometimes I am not home. Sometimes I am at work, but I check up on her throughout the day. She always knows when I am supposed to be home as well, and I am never late, sometimes to the dismay of my supervisors, who just really wish I could stay late because we are slammed. Sometimes my scheduling requirements means that I get the short-end of the stick when it comes to hours, but I do my best not to complain, because I am capable of creative budgeting and in the end, I am really grateful that I work for someone that understands that I am mom first, employee second, and the job keeps my daughter fed, under a roof, clothed, and insured. I have to be the nurturer and the money-earner all in one, but I am always there when my daughter needs me, because whatever job I work, I am Mom first. In short, I do my best.
    I have argued before that we need to stop judging each other as parents, and stop with the one-way, and one-way only mentality that we have towards parenting, but sometimes it just really feels like we are never going to stop. I could have gotten on here and argued why my way is better, why my daughter is learning independence, critical thinking, and how to interact with the real world, but in all reality, that's as much a crock of bullshit as the saying that my daughter is not as nurtured or as well educated. We all parent according to standards that best meet the needs of our lives, and that is the only way to do this thing called parenting. A mom who wants to stay home should not feel like she is less than a working mom, and a working mom should not feel like she is less than a stay-at-home mom. One does not negate the other. One does not take away the value of the other. Different does not mean wrong, and that is the message that I want to get across here. Different is okay. And even though we may differ in our methods, one thing remains the same - we all just do our best.

Mom Versus Mom: Just Plain Wrong (link to the first blog post that I did on this subject, written 1/23/13)

Living Wage

   I am thankful for many things in my life, and one of the things that I am (I won't say most, but really, near the top of the list) thankful for is my job. Sure, a checker job is not that glamorous, nor does my job require an abundance of intellect. But the one thing that sets my job apart from other cashier's jobs is that I make a wage that I can survive off of, without the aid of government assistance. To be clear, my job did start me out at minimum wage, and during those times I had to live with my mom and my sister to make ends meet, but my job has a pretty good raise system, and if you don't run afoul of the rules, you eventually come to a point when people are going, "You make how much money??? For being a cashier???" Granted, none of us are rich, but we can survive if we budget right and don't buy things that we don't need.
   But there are a lot of people who are not in that position. They make minimum wage and they have been for years because their jobs don't give raises more then the 10 cent raise every two years, or some similar nonsense, and that makes it hard. Especially because minimum wage is so low compared to our country's cost-of-living. And the first argument to that statement that I usually hear is, "Well, try living in a third world country." Well, I thank God that I don't, but how do you think that this is a reasonable argument? You are comparing one of the richest countries in the world to the poorest? To me, that is like comparing apples and oranges. Yeah, they are both fruit, but other than that, they don't have a lot in common. To me, comparing the United States to other wealthy countries would be more realistic, because all I can say is that I pay over $600 for my built before the 1960's, 700 square foot, one bedroom apartment, and somehow, I doubt that this is the rent in a third world country. If it is, then I have full sympathy for those people, but we still have poor here. Their suffering does not negate our fellow countryman's suffering.
   A second argument is that all poor here have microwaves and the poor in other countries do not. Well, a lot of us do. Microwavable food, in the United States, is often cheaper by far then food that you need to prepare and cook. But not all of the poor have microwaves. Not all of the poor are walking around with Ipods and laptops and other gadgetry. Ever seen a homeless person with a microwave strapped to his/her back? I haven't.
   There is a lot of entitlement in this country, and while I think that government programs need to be in place for people who have hit hard times or are disabled, be it physical or mental, I also understand that there are quite a few people who 'work' the system, and that needs to stop. But barring those people, we have a whole class of the working poor; these are people who work full time jobs, sometimes two, and they still have to utilize these programs because they are not paid a wage that they can live off of. 
   I have heard the arguments that not all jobs deserve a wage that you can live off of, which to me is elitist bullshit. Of course, if you are thinking that, then you are thinking that of course I think that, I am just a lazy cashier, and my job was meant for a teenager. Well, I am not gonna argue what age you need to be to do my job. I have, at a former job, trained a fourteen year old to be a cashier. They couldn't keep him on the register because he couldn't get the hang of counting back change, but  I don't think that this is the norm for most teenage kids. My daughter could do it, I believe. She couldn't deal with the asshat customers that come through my line from time to time. We have had grown cashiers in tears because some giant-walking-turd came through with a chip on their shoulder and decided to take it out on someone just trying to do their job, but really, I digress. The low minimum wage affects more than cashiers and fast food workers and servers, and they do deserve a decent wage, regardless of elitist opinions.
   Would you job snobs say that early childhood education is worthy of earning a living wage? Because a lot of them do NOT (just to provide a different field of work here). My sister is in this field, and she makes maybe a dollar above minimum wage. She is not alone; all of her coworkers are in the position of working a full time, sometimes high-stress job, and needing government assistance to survive. I would say that anyone working with children, teaching them letters, numbers, helping them potty train, and nurturing them deserves a wage that they can live off of without government assistance. They don't get this, at least not in my neck of the woods. And it is not because the company can't afford it, and it's not because prices would raise. This is due to corporate greed, in my opinion. Yes, companies have a right to make a profit, but if you cannot afford to pay your employees properly, then your company has not grown to the point where you should have employees. Or at least not so many of them.
   I am going to go back to my company. I don't have permission to affiliate myself with the company that I work for (not that I have asked, but this is MY blog, and I don't want to place myself in the position where I am having to ask permission for what I write, so try to leave names out of it), but my company is one of the lowest priced stores in the area. Our prices often beat Walmart. From my own inquiries, I believe we are one of the best paid, and we get good benefits. Of course there are flaws and issues, but name a place that doesn't have them. I get paid above what I have seen suggested as a living wage, which is $11 an hour. I make a good amount more than that. People fight raising minimum wage because they say that it will cause inflation, that companies can't afford it, that prices will rise, YET I have just told you that my store pays a good amount of their employees above $11 an hour, due to the raise system that they have in place. Probably over half, because once people get in with my company, they try their best to stay with them, and the raise system in place rewards longevity. I have TWO COLLEGE DEGREES, and I don't want to leave. Because my company pays me well, provides my with affordable insurance and works with me on hours scheduled so that I have plenty of time for my other, more important job: being a mom.
   Federal minimum wage in the U.S. is $7.25( of course we know that this varies from state to state, and here in Washington, where I live, it's $9.19 an hour); that's not enough for the cost-of-living in the United States. Poverty exists in the United States. Need proof, here's two links: Seattle One Night Count and National Center For Children In Poverty. These are links to one organization that is close to my home and one that is the United States in it's entirety. I chose these links because they outline the amount of children in poverty, and in a country as wealthy as this one, I find the amount of children living in poverty appalling. A living wage would reduce that amount drastically. No; this wouldn't get rid of the people who abuse the system, but this would get those who are working and who work hard, out of the welfare system, relieving some of that burden, and the reduction of numbers could ease an overtaxed system with overtaxed workers, which in turn might provide time for said workers to start weeding out the abusers. Make sense? Does to me. Plus, a living wage is the right thing to do. 

Counterfeit Money

   Any one who has spent any amount of time handling money should know that there is a huge problem with counterfeit money. If your time handling money is part of your job, part of the way that you support your family, then you take measures to make sure that you don't take in that counterfeit money; all cashiers know this unless they are newbies.
   This need to thoroughly check the bills that pass through our hands, however, has a tendency to piss people off. Frankly, I am not sure why. I have been on the other side of that counter as a consumer/customer, and my panties don't get in a bunch when the cashier passes that counterfeit pen over my bill and then holds the bill up to the light. I know that they are just doing their job; checking for fake bills is actually part of our job and there are specific things we are looking for. The most well known is the little strip inside the bill, that says 100 if it's a 100 or twenty if it's a 20 (it's actually spelled out on the strip for the 20 and in numerals for the 100.) We also check for a number of other thinks, like color changing ink, matching faces, red and blue threads in the paper, and so-on and so-forth. The pen is a useful tool, but all the pen does is let us know that the bill is on the right type of paper, and, oh those creative criminals, they have found ways around that. So I understand that even if I just got that bill straight from the bank, the person I am handing the bill to still needs to check for authenticity. So  I don't waste my time getting all huffy and puffy about them doing their job.
    Even with all those measures, sometimes we still manage to take in fake bills. I know that I have seen fake bills in every thing from fake 100's all the way down to fake 10's. And I mean, really, if you have the time and energy to fake a 10, I wouldn't think that getting a job would be less work. But who knows what goes on in people's heads? Not me.
   But to get back to my original point, there are some people that really get steamed when we check their money. I know that I have even been told that my checking money is not legal (pure bullshit, folks, so whatever you have read online about that, disregard it. Marking a bill with a counterfeit pen is NOT considered defacing money.) I know some people think that we check because we are implying something about their character, but that is not the case at all.  We don't even know most of you. For my store, and for many others that I know of, checking money is standard procedure. We are supposed to check every single bill. So our checking isn't a sign that we are judging you, we check every one's bills from little old  ladies with glasses and polka dot dresses to big scary-looking dudes with facial piercings and tattoos (and in my own experience, the old ladies can be the meanest customers and the pierced, tatted up dudes can be huge teddy bears.) This is our job, and taking in a counterfeit bill can and often is counted as a shortage in our cash drawer, and frankly, too many incidents like that would lead to termination. I speak for myself here, but I have a child to support, so frankly, I can afford your offense, even though checking a bill is not meant to be offensive, but I cannot afford to take in those counterfeit bills.
  This is something that I do try to explain to people when they seem upset, or even just curious as to what I am looking for. Some people, once I have explained and even showed them what I am looking for in a bill, settle down and leave with an understanding that I am just doing my job. But other people: they are determined to take offense no matter what I say. But, as I just explained, this isn't something that I can stop doing. One fake 100 dollar bill in my drawer puts me over the shortage amount that I am allowed; I can't afford that. My family can't afford that. So checking for counterfeit money is something that is going to happen.
   On that note, they have just come out with new 100 dollar bills that are supposed to be much harder to counterfeit, and I actually had some pass through my hands to other day. The first one I handled just befuddled me. This poor man handed me this purplish bill with a metallic 3D strip down the center of the bill and I was looking at the thing thinking this man had handed me some weird kind of play money. After the man told me the money was real, I called to verify, and the bill was real. I felt bad for needing to check, because he seemed embarrassed, but again, having never seen the actually design, part of my job would be to verify that this was a real bill. I did apologize to him for needing to check.
   Anyway, the real point that I want to get across here is that fake money is a big problem for us people in the retail field, and we aren't looking to accuse. Even when we find fake money, we fully understand that in all likely-hood, the person who handed that bill to us had no clue and is a victim. I never look to accuse anyone of anything; that is part of someone else's job description, and they are welcome to it -- I want no part of that. But we do have to check, so all I have to say is that just going with the flow is going to be less stressful and drama filled for both of us. Isn't that something we all want?

Crazy, huh? I was thinking, "What kind of monopoly money is this?"

A Wandering Ramble From Marie

   Adjusting to my new sleep schedule has been difficult, to say the least. I guess that some  people don't have a lot of trouble, but I have never slept well in the first place. Getting to sleep can be extremely difficult for me, and once I wake up, even if I just wake up two hours later, getting back to sleep can be impossible. I actually woke up the other night at 10 pm, and couldn't get back to sleep all that night, and at 5 am, I had to give up the quest for those longed for zzzzz's and get my daughter ready for school. Then I had to go to work. That day sucked. So much that I have decided that I need some help regulating my sleeping patterns so that I can stop feeling like a zombie and start feeling like myself again (I won't say normal here, because we all know that I am not going to act normal.)
   Other than that, not much else has been going on. My daughter is getting adjusted to her new school schedule, and as usual, my worrywart fears were not founded. She has not been picked on in her new school, we had no problems with the bus, and she is happy and excited. She is eagerly awaiting the club sign-up sheets because she would like to join some after school clubs, something made possible by the school's willingness to provide an activity bus that takes all the kids home after the day's activities. How awesome is that?
    I can't really understand why my daughter wants to stay at school LONGER however. Of course, I am not going to discourage this, because joining these clubs is something that is going to look nice on a college application one day. Never too early to start planning for that. But her reasoning is a) she likes to learn and b) she is a really social kid. How in the hell did someone as antisocial as I am end up with a social butterfly of a kid is something that I will never understand, but that is what happened. Not really complaining, because I have to deal with things like crippling stage fright and an extreme dislike towards being the center of attention in a crowd of strangers and she does things like willingly join choir and sing in front of said strangers. Not for the faint of heart, I can tell you that.
   As for the rest of life, well, work is work. I'm grateful to have a job, but nothing worth blogging about has happened. I just float along in a sleepless, zombie-like daze, which hopefully these melatonin supplements will help eradicate some of that. Why melatonin and not an over-the-counter sleep aid? Well, when I was talking to a friend about that very issue, she mentioned that sleep aids could sometimes show up as a false positive on a drug test. In the very first month that I started writing blogs, I wrote a little piece about my company's love of incessantly drawing my name for drug tests, which makes the possibility of a false positive a big no-no. Just a little information for you, because  I googled this info, and found numerous websites that confirmed the fact that yes, some over-the-counter sleep aids can cause false positives on drug tests. And we all know that everything that we read on the internet is true.
    While I have you believing that, I also want to tell you that when cats get older, they turn into walruses, and that is why they have pointy teeth; those teeth turn into tusks. Believe it or not, when we were very young, I did convince my little sister that this was truth, and she was afraid of cats for a while. But I digress, and back to the sleeping aid issue, whether this is truth or not, I don't think the risk is worth it. And  I am not going to a doctor to find out, because I avoid doctors the same way most people avoid rabid dogs.
   Also, I recently turned 32. However, while I hope that I will age gracefully and never become some bitter, youth-chasing crone, neither do I actually enjoy aging. So I don't age; I level up. Happy level-up day to me; happy day to all of ya'll as well. May you all manage to sleep well tonight, because that's what I am sure hoping for. 

Yellowstone: The Best Vacation Ever

Palette Springs at Mammoth Hot Springs in Yellowstone.

   I'd been so excited for the Yellowstone vacation; I had been saving up to go on this particular vacation for over a year, but this idea of this vacation is an old one. My family had decided that we wanted to make a trip here about six years ago but at that time, my niece was still a baby and my nephew hadn't even been born yet. Then when he was born, we had two small children on our hands. We wanted to go when the kids were old enough to really enjoy the trip, and we wanted them to be able to do the many trails offered by the park. 

   Of course, my nephew is only five, and the older girls are eight and eleven, so we aren't looking at the backpacking, overnighter trails. But there are so many child friendly trails in Yellowstone that even though we went for eleven days -- a time period that had many exclaiming, "What will you do there for so long?!" -- we never ran out of things to do, nor did we find ourselves the victims of bored children. Yellowstone is simply breathtaking, and has charm for all ages. And as I traveled, as usual, there were things that struck my fancy as I went along. So I put together a sort-of picture diary for the purpose of this blog. 

   1. As you travel the trails, you are going to notice a fair amount of scat; after all, this is not a zoo, and the animals roam freely. Now, when I hollered for the kids to not step in whatever animal crap that was sitting in the path, they would go around it; sometimes with theatrical squeals, and sometimes with some eye rolling, because I was reminding them 100 times a day. The boy, however, would only avoid the scat when he was in the mood to. The rest of the time he would shrug and plow through it. 

Anyone up for some buffalo pie?

   2. When you mix a large population of people, and you throw wild animals into the mix, there is no end to the amount of chaos that can be caused, especially when you factor cars and traffic into all of that. People would stop in the middle of the road, and go stand in oncoming traffic just to get a picture of the bison (buffalo), elk, or whatever else was out there. And the animals did not seem to be shy about getting in the road. We were stuck behind bison several times as we drove from one section of the park to another.

Mr. Bison would like a lift, please.

   3. The kids are going to see a lot of things, out there in nature. Things that you might not want them too...

They're just giving each other piggy-back rides, kids, I swear. 

   4. The park is full of "Do not die, you dumb-ass tourist" signs. They are plastered everywhere. All. Over.

This one is even illustrated, just in case you need the visual. 

   5. Pay attention to the details. You don't want to miss anything, and little things can give you a great big chuckle.

Somebody got happy with the nail gun on this boardwalk path :)

   All jokes aside, this vacation really was the best vacation. Eleven days came and went, and truthfully, I could have spent eleven more. The atmosphere was very tranquil and relaxing and the many views were breathtaking. And catching glimpses of the animals was so much fun! This is one trip that I highly recommend to anyone, of any age. This trip went above and beyond all expectations.

The Chromatic Pool. 

 

The Grand Geyser.

 

An elk in the Firehole River. 

 

Lower Falls at the Yellowstone Canyon. 

 

A pronghorn on the Blacktail Plateau Drive. 

 

And am I the only one who thinks Liberty Cap looks like a penis? 

Day Off? More Like Alternative Work Day

   I've been getting a lot of hours lately -- which is not written as a complaint because I need my hours. However, I will state for the record that I am positive the CEOs of my grocery store chain are time wizards straight out of some fantasy story, because time STOPS while I am at work. I will be checking, and checking, and checking, ringing up lines and lines of people, and when I look at the clock, sure that at least an hour has passed, I find that barely fifteen minutes has gone by. How is that possible? My vote is time wizards.  But time wizards aside, I am used to having more time off, and now I have less. And my to-do list is getting longer and longer and longer. Of course, there is the usual things, like that never-ending pile of laundry, the fact that my kitchen floor is questionable, and the dust that I try to ignore with all my might.Those who knew me as a teenager might be surprised that I even know how to clean -- my bedroom used to be a sea of decay. Those days are long past though, and while I will never be the female version of Mr. Clean (thank God), I do like things to be livable. So no sea of decay.
   But other things are stacking up as well. School is just around the bend, so I have to get all of my daughter's school stuff ready, and I need to call the school and talk to someone because I have a small issue that I need help resolving. Not only is my daughter starting a new school year, but she is starting a new school and I am not ready to be the mother of a middle school girl (Junior High in some places, middle school here). Not only am I mentally not prepared, but I also just plain-out don't have all the things she'll need and I need to update her shot records and a million other things.
    Vacation is coming up, and I need to get the rest of the things I need (bug spray!) for two weeks in Yellowstone and we need to get reservations straightened out and I need to notify my bank and credit card companies that I am going traveling, so could they please not freeze my card when I start making out-of-state purchases? That would suck. I also need to go to the apartment office and let them know that I will be gone for two weeks, because they like to know this in case something comes up.
    I can go on with this list of stuff that needs to be done, and honestly, the laundry is the one thing that tends to weigh on my mind the most, because I hate laundry with a passion that beats all other passions. But what I really need to do with my day off is actually get some rest because my stomach has been waging war on me, but I just don't think that this is going to happen. My days off are only days off from my cashier job. My mom job, my head-of-household job, the many hats that I have to wear to keep things trucking along, all these jobs are all waiting for me. Lurking in the shadows, just waiting to pounce. Day off? Don't make me laugh. 

A Bad Day

   Ever had one of those pulling-out-your-hair days, where everything that can go wrong, does go wrong? One of those days when shit you never even imagined going down is going down and you are just dumbfounded? The events of the day don't even make sense and you just want to go to bed and forget the stupid day ever happened at all; ever had one of those?
   Being as you are human, and living in the world, I am going to assume that you have. Everybody's had one of those days, right? No one has a perfect life; no matter how good your life is, you are going to have an off day every once in a while.
   Well, a few days ago I had one of those days, at work, so I couldn't even take comfort in curling up in my bed and ignoring the hell out of everything. I had to pay attention. This is one of the many dangers of having a steady job. Sometimes you just have to suck it up and be a big girl.
   Anyway, there were no ominous portents at the beginning of the day, and sometimes, there are. You know there are, so if you are shaking your head at me for being superstitious, just stop now. Sometimes you wake up, and things start going wrong from the moment you pull your feet out from under the covers and put them on the ground, and you just know that the day is gonna be full of suckyness.
   This was not one of those days. I was sucker punched by this day, which actually made the day even worse, because I was not braced for it. I just went to work, and expected I would have the usual time. Except that when I told my first customer his order total, and he handed me a wad of money that was all crumpled and sloppy, he totally bitched me out for being OCD when I straightened the cash. Excuse me??? First of all, smoothing out your money so that I can actually put it in the slot is not a sign of OCD. It's a sign that no cashier can put money that's been wadded into a ball into her drawer; that's what it's a sign of. Second of all, Obsessive Compulsion Disorder is a mental illness, so if I was OCD, I wouldn't be able to help that, and this customer's obnoxious bitching wouldn't make any difference. Obnoxious bitching, however, is completely optional, and you can choose not to engage in this particular activity. Funny how that works.
   After that customer, I got fully chewed out for not taking the wrong items on a WIC check. You see, WIC checks specifically list the items that you can get, and the type and brands. I have mentioned this before, but just to be clear, if your WIC check says that you can get either 2%, 1%, or non-fat milk, then those are the only types of milk that I can give you. I can't give you lactose-free whole milk. WIC will reject the check when they review it, and then I will have a shortage in my drawer, which I can get fired for, FYI.
   As if all of that wasn't enough, I had a woman come through and she was demanding that I call her husband on the phone and tell him to come in and help her with her groceries. After I explained that we could not call out from the checkstands, she wanted me to pull out my cell phone and call him. We are not allowed to have our cell phones on the floor, so I couldn't oblige her. Then she asked for someone to help her with her groceries, so I (at this point) grudgingly called for help, thinking she wanted help out to the car. Nope. She wanted my coworker to pull our her cell phone and call the husband. Are you kidding me, here!!!??? As my coworker looked at me, dumbfounded, I just hoped that she understood that I didn't realize this loony-tune was gonna ask her to make calls for her. Really, this is something else that we can lose our job for, so I felt justified in my feeling that the customers were conspiring to get me fired. And, really, if you needed your husband that much, why did he wait outside in the car and not come in with you? How does that make sense to you?

    The day seemed to go on in a manner similar to these few examples, and I wanted to just start screaming, and keep screaming until I blew my throat out, but you can't engage in that type of activity at work. Acting like you are batshit crazy while on the clock is frowned upon.
   Obviously, as this happened a few days ago, I survived the day without the loss of my job, or criminal convictions, or being institutionalized, but this was a very close call. So if you find yourself going through a day like this, know that you are not alone. I have been there; we have all been there. Try to leave your hair attached to your scalp, take deep breaths, and fantasize about choking fools, by all means, but don't act on that fantasy. Because you will survive, and when you finally get the chance to curl up and go to sleep and forget that the stupid day ever happened, you want to do this in your own bedroom, and not in a jail cell.

Have a good day and be happy!!!!

The Kids; They're Multiplying

   So my daughter's birthday is coming up this month and she is going to be 11. Now, you might think that this means a birthday party, but I do not do birthday parties. Oh, she gets a celebration, but I keep this celebration within the family: my mom, my sister, and her two kids. That is enough bodies in the house, thank you; no need to add more people to breath all of my air. And the kiddo gets to pick a special activity; sometimes going to see a movie and out to dinner, sometimes the zoo, things like that. This is all because I did a party once, and it was horrible.
   For my daughter's 3rd birthday, we did a party and invited a shit load of kids. And all these kids, they had to be entertained. And all these kids' parents: they left. I want to know since when a party equaled free daycare. I call bullshit.
   So there are all these little kids running around, and no other adults. Every time you opened a freaking door: more kids. They were like cockroaches, if you saw one, there where more you didn't see lurking around the corner. There were more of them than I initially invited, and they seemed to be multiplying by the minute.What. The. Hell.
   And so I was trying to wrangle kids and serve cake and keep them from fighting, because little kids: they're  vicious. One kiddo snatches a toy from another and they ALL start biting. How is that even a rational response? But try and explain rational thinking to a bunch of three year old ankle biters.
   I sugar them up with cake and ice cream, and it's time to open presents, and they are all crying because they want presents too, and little kids don't always get the idea that on birthdays, only the birthday kids get presents. But I give them all party favors, which soothes them, because at that age they don't care what they get, so long as they get something. Truth be told, all my daughter's toys have been have been pushed aside and they are all playing with the boxes, my daughter included. I'm freaking exhausted, and I don't care what they are playing with so long as it isn't fire or something that got fished out of the toilet, and I'm anxiously awaiting the arrival of parents who should have never left in the first damn place. Of course, they are almost all of them late. And this is when I know that I will never have another birthday party again. Never. I celebrate her birthdays, but in my own way, not in a way that provides free daycare to kids who magically multiply. 

What Being A Mom Has Taught Me.... So Far

   Being a mom is a job, being a mom is a choice, and being a mom is something that you work at every single day. Like any important role in life, being a mom is something you learn from, something that changes you, hopefully for the better. Being a mom is a work in progress; you don't have to be perfect, but you do have to be willing to learn and willing to put in the time, tears, joy, and effort.
   My child is not grown, and even when she is grown, I suspect I will always be learning from her and helping her to grow. All I need to do is look at my own mom, who took me back in when I had nowhere else to go and was at one of the darkest points in my life. So I imagine, no - I know- that this list is not complete. There will be things that are missing, because my daughter is only 10 going on 11. I am far from done. But I do feel that I can put out this list, because being a mom has taught me some of the most important lessons of life that I have learned thus far. So here is the list of things that being a mom has taught me, and remember, I don't put things in order, ever:

1. Nothing is better than spending a Saturday with your child doing things that people say will rot your brain (i.e. watching too much TV and gamer marathons) 
2. There is never going to be enough money so learn to make things last, make things stretch, and get creative. 
3. If you don't put your child first, they are not going to put you first either. This includes putting your child over jobs, school, and other people.
4. Read a lot, and make books available to your child, because reading is really important, especially once they start school.
5. Find the people who will be there for you through thick and thin, because you are going to need them. 
6. Don't forget to be the person who is there for someone else through thick and thin. Make sure your child is one of those people you will always be there for.
7. Kids' cartoons today suck so make sure you buy them some Looney Tunes and Animaniacs on DVD (or Blu-ray). 
8. A happy home trumps a clean house -- don't stress over the toys on the floor, the dishes in the sink,  that pile of dirty clothes, and that layer of dust. Just don't let things get moldy.
9. Teach your kids manners and how to behave because no one is going to like your kid if they are rude-ass little shits who are climbing up the walls and beating up all the other kids. 
10. Let your child be different than you - they are not carbon copies. 
11. Keep an open mind and an open heart. 
12. You aren't going to like all of their friends. If the friends aren't taking your kids down the path of drug abuse and other bad stuff, just keep your mouth shut. Do you really think it's likely that your kid likes all of your friends?
13. Listen to the things you kids have to say. 
14. Work hard, but play often.
15. Pay attention.
16. There is not enough sleep in the world and coffee is a necessity. 
17. Make sure your child always knows that they can come talk to you about anything, and that you will believe them and be on their side if someone is being mean to them and/or hurting them. 
18. Be a tiger when it comes to protecting your child.
19. People are going to judge. Learn not to care. 
20. Try to be the best person you can. Yes, you will mess up, but deal with your messes and be someone that you want your child to be, because they are always watching their Momma.

Scum From The Bottom Of The Pond

   And here's my rant about identity theft, and the scum who practice this particular brand of theft. About 2 years ago, my information was stolen, off of the computer, I think, but I have never been able to exactly pinpoint how, who, when, where, or why. I never worried too much about identity theft, because what do I have to steal? Nothing. I manage to pay my daughter's and my bills, and keep a roof over our heads, food in our bellies and clothes on our back, but we don't have a whole lot extra. So while I wasn't overly careless, I wasn't overly cautious either.
   Much to my dismay, I found out what one person does to someone who has nothing. These insidious thieves get the info they need and take out online payday loans and try to trick you into making payments on loans that don't really exist. They called me and used heavy scare tactics, like I was going to end up in jail, or that if I didn't pay right now then court costs would cause my debt to soar to ten times the amount. I never took the bait, but they sure kept trying, and the scare tactic that actually caused me some real amusement was when they told me if I didn't pay I would be deported. See, I was born in Japan, but what they didn't know was that I was born in Japan because my dad was in the Air Force. I was born on a military base, no Japanese blood at all, with two American parents, so of course, I am fully an American citizen. So where exactly were they going to deport me to??? I don't really think Japan wants me.
   Anyway, while all this was going on, I reported to the FTC, the Attorney General, did my research, got some information from a super nice lawyer, and did not pay the identity thieves. And eventually, I got things straightened out, and I thought the nightmare was over. Until today, when I got a phone call at work. From a completely different person, who claims to be representing a payday loan company that I owed money too. So not the truth, and when I tried to explain that to her, she jumped my shit, which makes me think that she was not legit either.
   I know this sounds bad, but I have been sued twice, over unpaid hospital bills. I was served and they did not give a courtesy call first, they just showed up. When I asked them what the papers they were handing me were about all they said was that they didn't know and would I please sign for them. This woman argued with me. When I told her that I had never taken out a payday loan with her client, she started screaming at me, "Do you think someone just deposited money into your bank account for free?" Um, no, I am telling you that no one deposited money into my account. She demanded things like the last four digits of my social (which she didn't get) and when I asked for papers to be sent to me, she told me that they had sent papers. But I never got any papers, and yes, I have moved, but only last week, and my mom still lives at my old address, so I get every piece of mail that goes there. In short, that address is still a valid mailing address. I hung up on her, but I have to admit, I was pretty shook up, and had to go upstairs to the offices and break rooms to calm down. I also told her not to call me at work anymore, so of course, she called right back and talked to someone else, because I was upstairs trying to calm down.
   If you are going through something like this, the best advice that I can give is pay absolutely nothing, especially not based on a few phone calls. Demand paperwork, because by law, they have to send you information about the debt that they are claiming that you owe. Do not give them anymore information about yourself. Get as much as their info a possible (something I failed to do today because I was so upset I was not thinking) because you are going to need that info to make reports to the FTC and the Attorney General.
   I thought this shit was over. It looks like I only got a break. Because either this woman is lying to get money out of me, or she is really representing a company that had a payday loan taken out in my name, although I am going to repeat again that I have no payday loans out and this is not me. Either way, I am going to have to go through all this BS again, and they are likely never to catch who is doing this, which really sucks. I am a single mom doing my best to raise my child while working full time and going to college full time, albeit online. I have enough effing stress; I didn't need more. People who do this are scum, a drain upon society, worthless, useless, and I hope they all choke on the guilt that they don't feel. 

Judgmental Intolerance Is Bullsh*t

   If you put together a list of all the things that I hate the most, intolerance would be pretty close to the top. Child abuse and rape vie for the top spot, and frankly that should tip you off to how badly I hate intolerance. I don't care who you think you are, what religion you follow, and what excuses you can make, intolerance is a poison and letting something that is a poison have sway in your life, your viewpoints, your morals, is sheer dumbassery of the highest order. 

   I can talk about all types of intolerance, and sooner or later, I probably will, but today I want to talk about the intolerance to the disabled community, because that is what I dealt with earlier today. In the job of cashier/checker/sales person, whatever you decide to call the job that I do (think lots and lots of groceries) you run into every type of person, from every walk of life. And the store I work in gets high traffic from the disabled community. We get the blind, the deaf, the wheelchair bound, the mentally disabled, and often their caretakers, be they family or professional. 

   And today a regular and his caretaker came through my line. I know them, not very well, because I don't know intimate details from their lives, but I know his name and I talk to him every time and sometimes he likes to give me high-fives after I hand him his receipt, which happened today. 

They don't all work the same.

   I would have liked to give the moron in the back of my line who was mocking him a high-five to the face. With my divider stick. The thing about my customer is that he has some type of mental disability. I don't know what, I don't think that it's autism, because I have some limited experience with that, and I don't think it's down syndrome, but his mind hasn't developed. He is an elderly man, but he's like a child. He's gone through several professional caretakers, because I see him with one person for a few months, and then someone new. I don't know why; these are things that I don't ask customers. But regardless, whenever he is in my line, he acts like a happy, energetic child. And here is this complete asshole being completely intolerant, completely judgmental, and that just pissed me off. Made me see red; made my anger want to come out and play. 

   So here I am counting, taking deep breaths, going through the anger management motions, because no matter the provocation, if I beat a customer down with one of my divider sticks, I am gonna get fired. That's the kiss of death in single mother-land, and I can just kiss my new apartment goodbye. No job = no apartment. 

   But I need to make my frustrations known, and so I am going to post them here. This blog is open to the public, anybody can read it, so maybe, just maybe, someone will read this and think twice about being an asshat. So to the guy who was mocking my customer:

   I don't know why people get a kick about picking on people who are different than them, but even if, for some unknown, unfathomable reason you think that you are better than someone; why would you waste your time on something so asinine as making them feel bad? What is the purpose? Personally, I think you do this to cover up your fear and insecurity. Mental health is a blessing, and one day you might suffer a head injury, or dementia, or Alzheimer's, or any number of things, and then you will be on the other side. Is this how you hope that people will treat you? And disability? This is something that is going to come to most of us as we age. People lose their hearing, their vision, their function of limbs all the time. Not being impaired is a passing phase: a blessing that most people take for granted. When the time comes and you are impaired, or someone you love is impaired, is this how you want society to treat you/them? Treating people like this does not make you funny, make you strong, make you better. Treating people like this makes you weak. You. Are. Weak. 

Mom Versus Mom: Just Plain Wrong

   There are a lot of opinions out there about what style of mommyhood is the best. We all have opinions about what is better for the kiddos, what is harder on the mom, what is better for society, and so-on and so-forth. And having your own opinion is good, because you need that to decide what is best for your child, yourself, and your family. But society doesn't just stop at having an opinion. They have to hold a competition; a competition so fierce that we find ourselves jumping down each other's throats to decide which moms have the harder job, and the even more disturbing conclusion that some people are not taking the proper care of their children because of the lifestyle they had. I know that I have had people get in my face about both being a single mom and about working, saying that my choices have hurt my daughter.
   Here's the parenting issue the way I see it, because I have played mom in every style; I was a stay-at-home mom once, I'm now a working mom, I had a parenting partner with my daughter's father until that went south, and I'm now a single parent. There are variations to each of these styles, but I have at least some form of experience in all the basic styles that I have listed, and from what I can tell, being a mom is a hard job no matter what style of parenting you choose. And unless you are doing something like beating your child with a brick and/or telling them things like they are worthless, then there is no wrong way to parent. (If you are abusing your child, then I hope karma tears your throat out.) Let me explain this, from my own experiences.
Stay-at-home mom: You never get a break, or a vacation, or a lunch - shit- you can't even take a shit by yourself. Your adult interactions become very limited, you may have a good partner and loyal friends and family, but a lot of your day is spent talking to kids. You don't earn a salary and thus have to depend on someone else to earn it. You have to listen to bullshit cracks about eating bon-bons and watching daytime TV. You are often taken for granted and never get a raise or promotion. No sleep ever.
Working Mom: You have to leave your kids with someone else. You may get away for a while, but all the chores are waiting for you when you get home. You are going to miss important stuff while you are at work. You are losing your hair from worrying about your kid while you are at work. You get in trouble for calling out when your kid is sick, which happens all the time because daycare/school incubates germs. People try to shame you for not staying home with the kids and putting them in daycare. No sleep ever.
Single Mom: All the bills are on you. You either have to leave your kid and get a job, and be judged for that, or get on assistance programs and stay home with your kid, and be judged for that. You have to take care of every little problem that arises, from sick kids, to trouble at school/daycare. You are both mom and dad. People like to judge you- a lot, and a lot of people out there equate single mothers as women with loose morals, which is neither fair nor true. No sleep ever.
Duel Parents: You have to compromise about how to raise your kid. Just because you have help doesn't mean you aren't going to get overwhelmed with parenting stuff. You are going to be judged and held accountable for every little disagreement that you have in front of the kids. The lack of sleep, stress of raising a kid, and disagreements about how to raise your kid can cause tension in your relationship - and people are going to judge you for that too. No sleep ever.
   Of course, these cover the effects on the mom and not the child, some would say. However, a happy home strongly influences the children in question. Shortly after I became a single parent, my daughter made the statement that even though there were some people she missed, she was happy we moved (from Florida to Washington) because I didn't cry anymore. In our old home, she had gotten to the point where she panicked whenever I was out of her sight. In my single parent home, she became more independent, more outgoing. After seven years of being a single parent, my daughter is in the GATE (gifted and talented education) program, and has been these last three years. She is a green belt (with a black stripe) in karate. She is popular in school and though a little shy in new situations, becomes engaged and shows her zany, friendly, sunny side to people quickly once she is used to them. I make sure that we get our quality time together, and all signs indicate that I have made the right choice for her. Does this mean that every mom should make my choice? No; I am in no way saying that my choice is the only choice for everybody. My choice wouldn't be right for many of you, but based on the circumstances of my life, my choice was the best for us, so who has a right to judge me for those choices? The way  I see things, nobody has that right.
  There are going to be cons in every style of raising a child -- but this does not mean that one is better than the other. They all have their pros too, and being a mom is rewarding no matter how you are pulling your mommyhood off. Every mother makes the decision on what she needs to do -- stay at home, work, be single, be with a partner -- based on the circumstances and variables of her life. The decision that one woman makes would not be right for another woman, because her life is different. But the things that are the same is that we are all moms trying to do what is best for our kids and make better lives for them. So why are we being so judgmental, so competitive about  who is better? Why aren't we banding together and telling the rest of the not-moms who are judging us to piss off? If we could get along, and help each other out, those judgey-judgersons out there would have a hell of a time pulling us down, but we are doing their work for them, by being at each other's throats and trying to put one choice above the other. It's wrong. We are a sisterhood of mothers, and we should have each other's backs. 

The Gremlins in Register 6

   I thought that today would be an average day at work. Go in, talk to some customers, get annoyed at others, yak at my coworkers, and then go home to my daughter. I was not counting on the stress and aggravation that the check reader in register 6 would cause me. But when I went to take my first check of the day....
   We have old stuff. I know that some of you are used to the machines that read your check and then your checker hands the check back to you and the amount comes out of your bank account as fast as a debit charge. Ours are not those. Ours has to read the check info (routing number, account number, and check number) and then the reader checks this information against the bad checks in our system, and then if there are no matches to bad checks, the reader prints our deposit info on the back of the check. (At least, that is my assumption of how the reader works, but no one has really explained it, so I could be off). Well, the first check I tried to put through jammed, so I had to enter all the information manually. Then the reader printed the deposit info correctly, but took about two minutes to process that it had printed and to let my cash drawer open.
   So in the meantime, the customer was looking at me, and I was looking at the customer, and we were looking at each other, and since this was not a romantic interlude, all this looking at each other was really awkward. Then the check reader messed up on the second and the third, and all this looking at people, waiting so I can give them their receipt and send them on their way is really bugging me. Looking at all these people for these lengthy periods of time is making my skin itch, and I'm jamming on buttons and opening shit and repressing the urge to bang on the thing, but I'm losing my cool. So I call my manager, and he comes over and wiggles some wires and tells me I need to be patient. Patient!!! An indication of how little he really knows me; or else a nod to my acting skills.
   And so the next check comes along, and his tinkering with the wires has done nothing, so my customer is looking  at me, and I'm looking at her, and we are looking at each other, and I'm wishing that I had a sledge hammer, and see if I wouldn't show that printer at thing or two.
   And then I realize, I really do need a hammer, because the only explanation is that my register is infested with gremlins. Not those weird ones from the movies, but the ones that were rumored to mess with the engines in the airplanes during one of the World Wars (I am not good with all that history). They have left the planes and infested my freakin' register.  I know that this seems far-fetched, but that makes even more sense. No one expects them to be in the grocery stores infesting the old equipment. Fey little bastards.

Things You Shouldn't Do To Your Cashier Part 3

   I was going to stop. I made the first list, and then I made the second list, and that was going to be all, because I don't like sounding like a customer hating biatch. But then I went to work, and my coworkers were all, "I didn't see this on the list, and this needs to be on the list." And they were right. (Thanks for the input! And thanks for reading!) The things they mentioned are completely worthy of the list. So I promised a part three; you see, this third list is really for my coworkers..... It's not just that I like to flap my fingers on the keyboard and make my opinions known to the world. And so, in collaboration with my coworkers, part three of the list:

• We Are Not A Daycare: Forget something? Need to go back and get it? Well, take the kiddos with you. Don't leave them in the care of the cashier checking your order. (Oh, yeah, happens aaaaall the time.) Do you know daycare workers are supposed to be certified? Well, I don't know about the rest of my coworkers, but I haven't taken any STARS classes (certification classes in WA, if you are not in WA, insert correct certifications here). I don't know CPR either. You kiddo chokes, about all I can do is thump him/her on the back, but even if I did know it, we are not a daycare. Watching your kid is not a part of the job we are paid to do. And really, you are awfully trusting for this day and age. As a cashier, I do not have to pass the type of background check that a daycare worker does; I could be any kind of freak. (I mean, I'm not, but how do you know that if you don't know me?) As a parent: I don't think much of your parenting skills.
• Munchies: Hungry? Have to eat your food before you get to the checkstand? Okay, I get it, food is delicious, but could you stick to eating something that does not have to be weighed? How am I gonna charge you for that product if you're busy digesting it?
• Read The Signs: This is a bad one, and unless you are illiterate, there is no excuse. My work has a no cart zone, because all of the expensive alcohol is in this teeny-tiny area; there is a place to park your carts and signs EVERYWHERE. And still, people bring in carts. If you take out one of those shelves though, you are liable to end up purchasing thousands of dollars worth of spilled liquor. No good to you on the floor, and if I buy liquor I expect to be able to actually drink it (or cook with it, as the case may be) but -- you didn't read the signs, so your liquor is getting sucked up by the mop. The mop is thirsty; the mop thanks you.
• If Your Kid Opens It, Don't Stick It Back On The Shelf: I see this all the time: usually with candy. I get that kids are fast, and the really young ones don't quite understand what they are doing (although some of the older ones do this too, and you aren't going to convince me that they don't know they are doing something wrong). But when your kid opens up a package, I'm sorry, but you need to buy it. We can't sell it now, and it's not like this was an accident. I get that sometimes they are fast and you can't stop them in time; I'm a parent too - I've been there - but you're still gonna have to suck it up and plunk down the cash. 
• But Not On A Moving Conveyor Belt!!!: Please, why on earth would you put your money, check, whatever, on a moving conveyor belt. It's gonna get sucked into the crack! Which happens to be a black hole. I had this happen with a WIC check once, and I had my manager, my supervisor, and myself totally taking my whole checkstand apart, and we still couldn't find the dumb thing, and we can't replace that. It's gone. I have never understood why people think placing money on a conveyor belt is a good idea. (Bad!!! Bad!!!!)
• No Fighting In The Store: This is not the local bar, or the set of Jerry Springer. What kind of fool gets in a fight in a grocery store? Stop sniffing the cilantro; it's messing with your head. Or else let me film it and post it on YouTube. 
• Don't Put 300 Dollars Worth Of Groceries In Your Cart When You Only Have 50: Yeah, you're optimistic. You're not gonna be able to get all that though, so why waste your time putting it in your cart, and waste mine when I have to put it back? I understand that sometimes people misjudge, and have to take a few things off -- I'm not talking about this. Nor am I talking about the unfortunates who leave their money at home on accident. I'm talking about the people who come to the line with 3 loaded down carts, and then say that they only have a tiny amount of money. You're kidding, right?

   So thus ends Part 3 of the list. This might really be the end, but it might not. I'm not gonna tie myself down one way or the other; I've learned better now. If I get a lot of good suggestions, there may just be a part 4. Why? Because these lists make me laugh, and as I said, this one wasn't even entirely from my own head. My coworkers gave me plenty of suggestions. Meaning they are reading my stuff, so why wouldn't I write about what they want to read about?