Monday, February 10, 2014

No Sleepovers Please

    We all have to make parenting choices, and many of them are wildly different. One of my more unusual parenting choices is the fact that I don't really do sleepovers and I'm not even a huge fan of play dates, especially in the home. Some of that, I suppose, can be chalked up to the fact that I am an antisocial little troll, but I do have other reasons. People can agree or disagree with them as they chose, and I know that I have offended and frustrated a lot of people with my dislike of sleepovers, but like any other parent, I have to do what works for me.
   One of the reasons for my dislike of sleepovers is that this gets in the way of my working schedule. I have to ask for time off. Even if my daughter is sleeping away, I have to make myself unavailable to work in order to pick her up and drop her off. I suppose I could let the parents drop her off at the empty apartment -- wait, no I can't. There are a million reasons why I can't do that, so I have to ask for time off; time off that I really can't afford for a reason that is really not a priority.
    Then there is the issue of how well do I know the parents? How comfortable do I feel with them? In all of her life, my daughter has only been allowed to stay overnight at one person's house, and then only because it was a birthday, and I knew BOTH of the parents. Not just one, both. That is very important to me because growing up, I knew several people who went to a friend's house and were harmed by one of the parents. This never happened to me personally, but this has happened to people close to me. So even though as a child, I slept over all the time, and friends came to my home all the time, this is not something that I am willing to risk my child over. If I know, am comfortable, and trust both of the parents, then fine, occasionally sleepovers may happen, but even then they are not going to be the norm. I like to have my daughter home. I am her mother, and no one can watch over her better than I can. I am not against her socializing and having a good time, but sleeping over at a friend's home is certainly not the only option.
    So why can't her friends come stay over here at my home? This option is not wholly out of the question, but again, I would want to know and feel comfortable with both of the parents. I would want to be able to trust that if there where an issue, and the kid staying over needed to go home, due to extreme bad behavior, illness, accident, or whatever, I would be able to contact said parents and have them come get the kiddo. I would want to feel comfortable having that family in my home. There is also the issue of the family understanding what type of person I am before they let their kiddo come over. I have a dark and twisted sense of humor, and they would need to be comfortable having their kids around that. This is not to say that I would be harmful, because I would cut off my own hand before I would hurt a child, but I say some weird shit. Also, I cuss like a sailor. I edit most of my cussing out of this blog, but you can't really edit the spoken word. If your child comes over to my home, they are going to hear the words fuck, shit, crap, damn,  and ass often and in various combinations. I understand that there are parents who don't want their kids exposed to this, and I respect that, but those kids shouldn't come to my home, because in my home, these things are said. And, I really am an antisocial little troll. I would have to feel really, really comfortable with a family to have their kid over often; I would have to feel that they were close to being my family.
    My daughter is a popular girl, and I try to be sure that she has ways to socialize, but I just don't feel the need to have my home invaded in order for her to do so, nor do I feel the need to have her invade other's homes. In all honesty, there isn't offense intended if my daughter hasn't been over to a friend's home; the real issue is that for the most part, sleepovers are not something that I am comfortable with, so we don't do them. It's just that simple. 

No comments:

Post a Comment