Monday, March 4, 2013

Cable

   The move to cable, for me, was to save money. I got a deal that included internet and phone, which was a lot cheaper than what I was paying for my old internet and phone service, plus I got cable, something that I haven't had for over seven years. And I love The Walking Dead (best zombie show ever!!!) and now I don't have to wait for the program to be available on Netflicks, which is great, because I got a lot of spoilers waiting. Plus, I am not a patient person.
   But that's just one show, on one channel. I was sure that my daughter and I would be watching other things. Well, now I know. 180+ channels, and all I want to watch besides my Walking Dead and The Game of Thrones is The Golden Girls and I Love Lucy. 180+ channels, 24 hours a day and 7 days a week, and that's all that's on that is worth watching, for me at least.
   However, my daughter is obsessed with the Food Network. Not because she likes to cook, no. She likes to watch some Worst Cooks show, I don't really know what it's called, and then she chases me around our apartment, describing that nasty shit to me. Now, I have talked about my food phobias before, but I used to be able to get away from nasty-asty food at home. Now I am being followed around by my traitor daughter as she giggles insanely and describes things like cinnamon coated hamburgers, vanilla chicken,  and bacon flavored ice cream. G.R.O.S.S. I can't escape. If I go to the bathroom and shut the door, she will shout through the door. It's the best thing ever, in her eyes. I don't understand how some people can eat this crap. My gag reflex is too strong. I feel sick even thinking about that stuff they cook on that stupid show.
   And don't get me started on cartoons. Ok, I admit that I watch Pokemon with her. Those little things are cute, and if we all lived in a Pokemon infested world, I would totally devote my time catching Pokemon, because apparently that is a legit career in that world. But even this does not hold a candle to Loony Tunes and Animaniacs. Where is the cartoon violence? Where are the anvils and pianos that drop on the unsuspecting heads? Where is roadrunner and tweety bird? Are you kidding me? And what is up with Bayblade? That cartoon is about spinning tops. All those kids getting all worked up over some fancy tops. That's boring. Tops are not awesome. Wile E Coyote rocketing himself into the side of a cliff is awesome.
   I'm saving money, and that was the main point, so the cable won't be getting shut off, but to all the people who ever asked how I used to live without it? The answer is easily. 

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