Take Your Shoes And Shove Them Up Your Ass

Dear Neighbor,
   You gave me the dirtiest look as I stepped out of my apartment today. I was fully dressed. Jeans, not sweatpants; a t-shirt, not a pajama top, which seems to be the fad. The only thing weird was the fact that I was wearing flip flops. Yes, I admit, the temperature outside is 37 degrees; the ground is covered with frost - but not snow. That is valid, there is no snow on the ground. Flip flops may not be most people's choice of shoes in this frosty (but not snowy) weather.
   However, I am not most people. I just don't like shoes. Yes, I own them. Yes, I wear them, but only when required to do so. It's my day off, there is not a required uniform that I must submit to on this day. I am not going hiking, or doing any type of extensive, rigorous walking that would require the use of more supportive shoes. I am just going up the road to the mailbox. It is not so cold that I am going to get frostbite in the five minutes it takes me to get to the complex's mailboxes. And yet, even if it was, that seems like frostbite would be my problem. My shoe issue just seems like it wouldn't affect you at all. Maybe I just don't feel like I need all ten toes. Maybe I can make do with nine. Shit - I've broken them so many times that half of them don't even bend properly in the first place. In fact, part of my issues with enclosed shoes is the fact that my damaged feet, broken, sprained, and strained many times over the course of my 34 years of life, just don't feel comfortable in enclosed shoes. In fact, enclosed shoes can, over extended wearing time, cause my feet actual pain. The other issue is, I was raised Southern country, and I just didn't grow up wearing shoes. I was outside barefoot, with all the poisonous snakes, bugs, and snapping turtles, with bare feet most of my childhood. So I just don't see shoes in the same light that you do. They aren't really necessary.
   Okay, dude, I admit - if the world ends by a new ice age - I am ill-equipped. I will probably die, and I will probably be among the first. But... again, not your problem. More resources for your superior ass. Have fun with that. In the meantime, I'll continue to check my mail, in 37 degree, frost-covered weather, wearing flip flops. If I can listen to your loud-ass TV, then you can deal with my flip flops and wind breaker.
Sincerely,
Your shoeless neighbor.

Packages And Holiday Shopping

   Packages; I am swamped with packages. How many of you do a lot of online shopping? I do quite  a lot. For one thing, shopping online is easier when you don't have a car, but that is really just a minor issue. I have so many offers of people who are willing to take me to this place and that, that all I need to do is pick up the phone. Online, for me, gives me more variety; if I can't find what I want on one website, all I need to do is press a few buttons and I am on another. And over time, I have found the stores that will do free shipping and handling, so I wait for those sales, or in the case of Amazon, pay the yearly fee, because I order so much from them, that I save by doing the fee and always ordering prime and getting free shipping. 

   But even that is not the real reason that I have packages coming out of my ears, which is a real pain with my mailbox still not being replaced, because I have to walk to the post office to pick them up. Even worse was the false hope I was fed a few days ago, when I saw a new box standing up there, which prompted a trip to the office to find out if we were getting our mail delivered again, only to be told that they need two more boxes and then they have to get everything registered and squared away with the post office. And it's the Christmas shopping season!

   So now you probably begin to guess why my home is overflowing with packages. I have been doing my Christmas shopping online. For me, online shopping is the best option. This way, I can shop without my daughter, and there is no possible way that she can see what is in my 'shopping cart'. Have you ever tried Christmas or birthday shopping while your kid is in the store with you? You might as well just let them pick out the gifts that they want, because if they are anywhere in the store, even if they are two isles down with your sister or mom, they are going to figure out what you put in that cart. There isn't even any use; you can try telling them not to look in your buggy, but c'mon, you were a kid once as well. Would that have worked with you? Wouldn't have worked with me. 

   This way I don't have to deal with any of that. Boxes come, I look in them to make sure that all is there and nothing is broke, then I tape that biatch back up and shove it in the closet until it's time to wrap. That is what I call stress-free Christmas shopping. I don't have to stand in mile long lines and fight over the last toy in stock that my kid has-to-have. Not that I often deal with that, because I tend to try to get all my Christmas shopping done by the time December rolls around. That way, I can sit back and laugh at all the frantic mommas and daddys running around trying to get every thing done last minute. Fistfights in Walmart are hilarious when you aren't the one involved in them.

   Anyway, on top of Christmas shopping, I recently ordered my daughter's Halloween costume online, as well as her winter coat, but those items came UPS. Of course, the UPS man always come when I am at work, so my package gets left at the apartment office, and I usually get to hear comments about how many packages I am ordering, while I look at them with crazy eyes because I don't think two packages is worth commenting over. I, on the other hand, could comment about how I haven't had a mailbox for a month now. I think that is worth some commentary. 

   But besides my mail issues, I really love this time of year. I love Halloween; I love Thanksgiving; I love Christmas. And here they are, all lined up in a sweet little row of holiday fun. BAM BAM BAM!!! Good times. 

Mailbox Woes

   Last weekend, someone busted open some of the mail boxes at our apartments. People can be wonderful at times. And even more wonderful is the limited action that the complex took on the matter. I guess there was a sign posted on the mail boxes, but by the time I got around to checking my mail, the sign was gone. This was all that they did, so  I was baffled as to why the mail boxes were left open on one side (these are old-style apartment boxes, with one end for the mail person to open and put mail in, and then on the other side, the many little doors for the individual boxes, and it was the mail person's side that was broken.)
   Of course, by the time I got out there, the office was closed, so my inquiries had to wait for the next day, and after I called them up, a Tuesday,  I was informed of the break-in. Call me crazy here, but I think a note stuck on the door of the affected apartments would not have been out of line in this circumstance, especially since we all needed to be aware of the fact that our mail was being held at the post office until the boxes could be replaced. That is what I call critical information. But we weren't notified, and what's done is done.
   My next stress was trying to figure out what packages had been delivered and if anything was missing. You see, I have started my Christmas shopping. This may seem early, but I like to be finished by December 1st if at all possible. Now, rarely am I actually finished by that time, but usually I do have the bulk of the shopping done. And because my daughter tends to go with me every time I go to a store, I do a lot of shopping online. Amazon is a wonderful site; I spend a lot of money there. This online shopping has the bonus of my daughter having no clue what I have bought (I mean, c'mon, how many of you think telling your kid not to peek in the cart actually works? Do you remember being a kid? I would have peeked.) Then there is the fact that I do not have to leave the house. Great perks. I love shopping in my pjs. But I had some gifts in the mail, and I needed to find out whether or not they had been stolen.
   That's not to mention any additional personal information that might have been jacked for identity theft use. Not too happy about that one. I have had my identity stolen, and having to call the bank because you've been alerted that someone is trying to use your card to book a hotel in England, when you are stuck in Washington and have to go to work the next day, puts you in a really bad mood. Trust me; I know from experience.
   Questions towards the office ladies procure the knowledge that they don't know when the mail boxes will be replaced, which means all my mail is on hold until further notice. The silver lining in all of this is that I have confirmed that all of my daughter's Christmas is safe and sound, and is currently stacked in my closet, which is a huge relief. The boxes are not yet fixed, but although taking that hike up to the post office is annoying, at least the rest of my mail is safe.
   All I can really add to all this is that not being able to get my mail has been really stressful for me.  I never knew how much  I took all of that for granted. I will never, ever take the mail person for granted again, I swear! Just deliver my mail again! (That being said, if they took anything at all, they sure didn't take the bills. Hmmmm. Why didn't they want to pay my student loans for me, I wonder???)