Turkey Time Is Coming!!!

   Now that Halloween is over, we can finally get on with business and prepare for Christmas... Well that seems to be the direction that all the retail businesses are going with, but I want Thanksgiving, dammit!! I love Thanksgiving. This holiday is all about being thankful for your blessings and EATING! The one holiday that revolves around the largest, most elaborate feast that you can manage. What is not to love? I love turkey and dressing, but so many people I know prepare non-traditional Thanksgiving meals that not liking turkey or not eating meat is nothing to stop you from celebrating. And no matter what you eat, we all need to pay a little more attention to our blessings and a little less attention to our misfortunes. So on that note, I have prepared a list of the things that I am most thankful for, just to get this blog into the correct holiday spirit.

• I am thankful for my faith and beliefs, because even though sometimes I am awake at 3 a.m. worrying about things like The Conjuring and Paranormal Activity demons, my faith has given me strength to get through some of my darkest hours. 
• I am thankful for my sister, because if I ever become targeted by some horrible demon, I have faith that she WILL CALL A PRIEST. I am also thankful for being pulled into every last drop of drama she can find, and for  her willingness to spend hours with me planning for the zombie apocalypse.
• I am thankful for my daughter, who is happy and healthy, and whose many talents include running up the electric bill and over-dramatic dialog (she gets that talent from my sister.) She is also the best daughter ever, so it all evens out. 
• I an thankful for my family, the only people on this planet who are as deranged and multi-personalitied as I am. (Apparently multi-personalitied is not actually a word, but all I can say about that is this: it's a word now.)
• I am thankful for my family again, for tolerating me even though sometimes I am a smart-assed, over-opinionated know-it-all. And for accepting my obsessive fascination with zombies and obsessive fear of lice. 
• I am thankful for my job; when so many people are finding themselves laid-off or shut down or whatever job-related drama that is going on, people will always need to buy food, and so cashiers will always be needed. 
• I am thankful for my health insurance, which so far seems to be avoiding all these Obamacare horror stories (keep your fingers crossed for me on that one!!!) 
• I am thankful for my niece and nephew, because I really enjoy seeing someone besides myself drive my sister batshit crazy.
• I am thankful even for this cracked-out Dell, because without it, I would not be able to write this post, since my other computer UTTERLY FAILED ME.
• I am thankful for my country. We have problems; point out a country that doesn't. At the end of the day, I am still proud to be an American. GOD BLESS AMERICA.

   I am really looking forward to my turkey day and hope that ya'll have a great Thanksgiving.

    

Packages And Holiday Shopping

   Packages; I am swamped with packages. How many of you do a lot of online shopping? I do quite  a lot. For one thing, shopping online is easier when you don't have a car, but that is really just a minor issue. I have so many offers of people who are willing to take me to this place and that, that all I need to do is pick up the phone. Online, for me, gives me more variety; if I can't find what I want on one website, all I need to do is press a few buttons and I am on another. And over time, I have found the stores that will do free shipping and handling, so I wait for those sales, or in the case of Amazon, pay the yearly fee, because I order so much from them, that I save by doing the fee and always ordering prime and getting free shipping. 

   But even that is not the real reason that I have packages coming out of my ears, which is a real pain with my mailbox still not being replaced, because I have to walk to the post office to pick them up. Even worse was the false hope I was fed a few days ago, when I saw a new box standing up there, which prompted a trip to the office to find out if we were getting our mail delivered again, only to be told that they need two more boxes and then they have to get everything registered and squared away with the post office. And it's the Christmas shopping season!

   So now you probably begin to guess why my home is overflowing with packages. I have been doing my Christmas shopping online. For me, online shopping is the best option. This way, I can shop without my daughter, and there is no possible way that she can see what is in my 'shopping cart'. Have you ever tried Christmas or birthday shopping while your kid is in the store with you? You might as well just let them pick out the gifts that they want, because if they are anywhere in the store, even if they are two isles down with your sister or mom, they are going to figure out what you put in that cart. There isn't even any use; you can try telling them not to look in your buggy, but c'mon, you were a kid once as well. Would that have worked with you? Wouldn't have worked with me. 

   This way I don't have to deal with any of that. Boxes come, I look in them to make sure that all is there and nothing is broke, then I tape that biatch back up and shove it in the closet until it's time to wrap. That is what I call stress-free Christmas shopping. I don't have to stand in mile long lines and fight over the last toy in stock that my kid has-to-have. Not that I often deal with that, because I tend to try to get all my Christmas shopping done by the time December rolls around. That way, I can sit back and laugh at all the frantic mommas and daddys running around trying to get every thing done last minute. Fistfights in Walmart are hilarious when you aren't the one involved in them.

   Anyway, on top of Christmas shopping, I recently ordered my daughter's Halloween costume online, as well as her winter coat, but those items came UPS. Of course, the UPS man always come when I am at work, so my package gets left at the apartment office, and I usually get to hear comments about how many packages I am ordering, while I look at them with crazy eyes because I don't think two packages is worth commenting over. I, on the other hand, could comment about how I haven't had a mailbox for a month now. I think that is worth some commentary. 

   But besides my mail issues, I really love this time of year. I love Halloween; I love Thanksgiving; I love Christmas. And here they are, all lined up in a sweet little row of holiday fun. BAM BAM BAM!!! Good times.