Thursday, December 20, 2012

Butterflies Verses Zombies

  As every parent knows, often, your child will develop a personality that is not at all what you would have expected from someone formed with your DNA. I mean, we all have plans and expectations of what our child will be like. And I got a great child. We have many similarities, such as our avid love of reading. We devour words with our eyes the way a starving man eats. We are both serious gamers and love to travel. We have other similar traits as well, but for the most part,she is stunningly, refreshingly different from me. She loves school, and I was the truancy queen. She likes the color pink, and I prefer black. Her clothes are glittery, gem-encrusted ensembles and mine are usually black. She wears sparkly sneakers and colorful boots and I detest socks, so wear flip-flops until they are impossible. She likes to do things now, early even, and I am the Master of Procrastination. She is outgoing and likes people and I am an antisocial introvert, and so-on and so-on These are differences that I can accept. I enjoy and value these differences. But there is one difference that I am committed to change. She must come to my viewpoint in the matter! I am determined. And what is this difference, you may ask? Well, let me tell you:

How is this better than a zombie?
   Whaaaaaaaaaaat???!!! How can that be? That's not right. Zombies are awesome. Zombies inspire such characters like Jill Valentine and Daryl Dixon. Butterflies, not so much. I mean, I understand that they are pretty, and the pollinate flowers and make things grow, but are they rotten, animated corpses? I don't think so. Do they eat human flesh and infect the masses? That's a negatory. How are butterflies more awesome than zombies? This assumption boggles the mind and just is not rational. Zombies inspire long, intense chats with your sister about how we are going to survive the zombie apocalypse, and what we need to have in order to protect the family and how we need to fortify the house. Does anybody worry about the butterfly apocalypse? No, because that sounds dumb. Oh gosh, the butterflies are going to pollinate me! Please. Butterflies are not bad ass. They just have pretty wings. How can that compare to decaying, flesh eating corpses? Really, daughter? But everything is A-okay. I am patient, and one day, you will come to the dark side.

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