No Sleepovers Please

    We all have to make parenting choices, and many of them are wildly different. One of my more unusual parenting choices is the fact that I don't really do sleepovers and I'm not even a huge fan of play dates, especially in the home. Some of that, I suppose, can be chalked up to the fact that I am an antisocial little troll, but I do have other reasons. People can agree or disagree with them as they chose, and I know that I have offended and frustrated a lot of people with my dislike of sleepovers, but like any other parent, I have to do what works for me.
   One of the reasons for my dislike of sleepovers is that this gets in the way of my working schedule. I have to ask for time off. Even if my daughter is sleeping away, I have to make myself unavailable to work in order to pick her up and drop her off. I suppose I could let the parents drop her off at the empty apartment -- wait, no I can't. There are a million reasons why I can't do that, so I have to ask for time off; time off that I really can't afford for a reason that is really not a priority.
    Then there is the issue of how well do I know the parents? How comfortable do I feel with them? In all of her life, my daughter has only been allowed to stay overnight at one person's house, and then only because it was a birthday, and I knew BOTH of the parents. Not just one, both. That is very important to me because growing up, I knew several people who went to a friend's house and were harmed by one of the parents. This never happened to me personally, but this has happened to people close to me. So even though as a child, I slept over all the time, and friends came to my home all the time, this is not something that I am willing to risk my child over. If I know, am comfortable, and trust both of the parents, then fine, occasionally sleepovers may happen, but even then they are not going to be the norm. I like to have my daughter home. I am her mother, and no one can watch over her better than I can. I am not against her socializing and having a good time, but sleeping over at a friend's home is certainly not the only option.
    So why can't her friends come stay over here at my home? This option is not wholly out of the question, but again, I would want to know and feel comfortable with both of the parents. I would want to be able to trust that if there where an issue, and the kid staying over needed to go home, due to extreme bad behavior, illness, accident, or whatever, I would be able to contact said parents and have them come get the kiddo. I would want to feel comfortable having that family in my home. There is also the issue of the family understanding what type of person I am before they let their kiddo come over. I have a dark and twisted sense of humor, and they would need to be comfortable having their kids around that. This is not to say that I would be harmful, because I would cut off my own hand before I would hurt a child, but I say some weird shit. Also, I cuss like a sailor. I edit most of my cussing out of this blog, but you can't really edit the spoken word. If your child comes over to my home, they are going to hear the words fuck, shit, crap, damn,  and ass often and in various combinations. I understand that there are parents who don't want their kids exposed to this, and I respect that, but those kids shouldn't come to my home, because in my home, these things are said. And, I really am an antisocial little troll. I would have to feel really, really comfortable with a family to have their kid over often; I would have to feel that they were close to being my family.
    My daughter is a popular girl, and I try to be sure that she has ways to socialize, but I just don't feel the need to have my home invaded in order for her to do so, nor do I feel the need to have her invade other's homes. In all honesty, there isn't offense intended if my daughter hasn't been over to a friend's home; the real issue is that for the most part, sleepovers are not something that I am comfortable with, so we don't do them. It's just that simple. 

The Little Things In Life

   Today, I had a really awesome day. The day didn't start so awesome, because when I walked outside today to take my daughter to the bus stop, before the dawn even thought of showing it's ass-crack, I was so cold that I could literally feel the snot trying to freeze inside my nose. Not the best feeling.
    After seeing the kiddo safely on the bus, I came back to my warm, warm apartment and blessed the person who invented heat. This lead to a warm, cozy nap before my mom came over. She doesn't have cable, so I DVR all the shows that we like to watch together and we schedule a day of TV watching about once a week, so long as our work schedules allow. We watch Sleepy Hollow, S.H.I.E.L.D., Once Upon A Time In Wonderland, Helix, Elementary, and a bunch of others, and usually I cook dinner and she brings dessert. Fun times, but today Mom treated us to Roundtable Pizza. Awesomeness.
   To add to this, after my daughter got home from school, and after she had eaten her yummy pizza dinner and her homemade brownie dessert (she didn't have homework, yay!!!) we went over to my sister's apartment and began planning for our summer 2015 vacation (planned so far in advance so that we all have time to save up money), while the kids wrestled and made a racket.
   Then after we had been at her apartment for well over four hours, my mom and I went back to my apartment and binge-watched S.H.I.E.L.D. This was a great day. And what brought this day together and made this day so great were small things. The enjoyment of a large gourmet veggie pizza. The relish of a good TV show that all the family can enjoy together. The excitement of planning a family vacation. The family time. These are the little things that you think of when life gets to stressful to handle. These are the little lights in the dark tunnel that guide you through. The little things that you do with your family are the things that get you through when things get rough. A stressful day at work can be recovered from just by planning a fun day with the family.
   There isn't a huge point to this post. I am not gonna rail about education, equal rights, customers with bad attitudes, child haters, or the multitudes of things that can completely wreck our day. I am just reminding you that in between those times when you are dealing with the bullshit, there are little things that make everything worthwhile. We lose sight of the little things sometimes. After all, enjoying a TV show with your mom, spending an evening with your sister, eating pizza with your daughter, these are not huge deals. They are such small things; yet these things are the cement that hold us together. We don't need to go to grandiose measures in order to make life worthwhile. The things that make life worthwhile are the small, everyday things that we often take for granted. So be happy, and enjoy the simple things as they come.

Child Haters And The Public

   While at work the other day, there was a little girl. She was a rather loud and exuberant little girl, but she was a very happy little girl as well. She very cheerfully, and somewhat forcefully, shouted "HI!!!" to every single person who passed her by. As her parents were in one of the checkout lines close to the door, she had access to every single person leaving the store, and she used that access to gleefully (and loudly) greet them all from the confines of the shopping cart, grinning and waving like a princess on parade.
   Most customers cheerfully, if with less volume, greeted her back. But because I tend to attract the crazies, I got the customer who was just pissed beyond belief by the racket. "That stupid kid," the lady complained to me, "Can't you shut her up." Because cashiers are in the business of 'shutting people up'. That's gonna go over well; I think I'll skip the legal charges that shutting a kid up, one who isn't even mine, one who isn't even misbehaving - I think I will pass those charges up. I mean, I can just see the headlines now: Cashier facing time for shutting up a little girl greeting people. I don't think so. Not this cashier.
   Unfortunately, this woman is a regular of mine. I am not sure what bad karma I wracked up, but obviously, I am paying for something, because this woman always, ALWAYS bitches about the kids in the store. They all need to be left home, apparently. And because I am on the clock, I can't tell her to piss off. I'd loose my job, hence the suspicion of some bad karma.
    But, she isn't alone in her child hating. I hear complaints about kids in the store all the time. "Shopping isn't a family experience, people need to leave their kids home." "Can't those people find a babysitter?" "They need to get that kid out of the store." "Can't someone shut that kid up?" "My kids were never allowed to through fits." I can go on. I've heard all this and more, child hating in multitudes. And it's past time for moms everywhere to address this issue.
   For me, I can't understand why people go into a public place and get pissed because said place is filled with... the public. Places like grocery stores, they don't cater to a certain crowd. They are not 21 and up establishments. Grocery stores are places where people go to buy food; often people who go to buy food have families. From this point, people bringing their families to that those families give input and help in the chore of planning the menu is not that big of a leap. Shocking, how that works.
   Furthermore, many moms do not have babysitters at their beck-and-call. They may not have much of a choice about bringing their kids to the store. Quality sitters are hard to find, and are often expensive, so even if they have one, they may not be able to justify the expense of hiring them to go shopping. Or they may feel that due to the fact that they have to work, their kid spends enough time with a sitter, and they want that kid with them for a while, even if they have to go shopping. Leaving kids at home is not always possible, so really, when people assume that moms with kids in tow had this option, and just dragged their kids to the store anyway,  that assumption kinda pisses me off. I never had that option. As a working mom, my daughter was in daycare a lot, but I couldn't leave her there to go to the store. The daycare had a limit of how many hours that a kid could be left there, and between my job and going to college, my daughter was there too often for me to leave her there to go shopping. Both my mom and my sister have full time jobs, so my daughter came with me, even when she was a small child, still learning how to behave in public. So no, parents leaving their kids with someone is not always an option.
   As for kids throwing fits; well that is never pleasant. Least of all for the parent dealing with all the judgey-judgersons. But a parent cannot always drop whatever they are doing and go home, just because the kiddo is having a bad day. Not always feasible. And we have no idea why that kid is having such a bad day. Maybe the kid is a spoiled rotten brat, but more likely, maybe the kid is tired, or feeling poorly, or just had a rotten day. As bad as kids throwing fits can be, I have seen adults behave in a much worse manner, so don't think kids have the corner on bad public behavior. And the kids, they are still learning about things like manners and inside voices; adults don't have that excuse.
    I would also like to point out that every single one of you, whether you have had children or are childless, you have all started out as children yourselves. Every. Single. One. Of. You. And at some point in your childhood, I am positive that you have made an ass of yourself in public. Maybe your mom is keeping your assholeyness quiet, but for the good of all the people who have to deal with you, I am begging her to stop right now, call you up, and tell you - in detail - about the time that you were an ass in public.
    I sure know I was. I can't even think of a specific time; I can remember so many that they are all blending together. A long blur of childhood assery that I inflicted on my parents, and in my household, discipline was not an issue. We got disciplined. So trust me, I don't need my parents to call me, I remember. What I can tell you is about my daughter.
    My daughter is a good girl. My mom gleefully awaited her, joked about getting back twice what  I had done to her, and then was dumbfounded when my daughter emerged as a 'good' kid. I get messages from teachers about how well behaved she is, I get told by family, I get told by her friends' families, so when  I say my daughter is a good kid, I am not just speaking from my own, admittedly biased, point of view. But even the best kids need to be taught how to behave in public, and even the best kids can have meltdowns and misbehave.
    My daughter had a major one when she was about four. She never went through the terrible twos, but she was hit with the fearsome fours with a vengeance. And one time, she had a meltdown right in the middle of Fred Meyers. I can't remember why, exactly, but I think her meltdown had something to do with the fact that she didn't want to walk, but she didn't want to get into the cart either. So she did what made the most sense of all, she threw herself right down on the floor of the store and started screaming her head off. And when I went to pick her up, she screamed as loud as she could, "Stop! You're breaking my arm!" Despite the fact that I wasn't even touching her arm, I got the evil-eye from about fifty different people, and had to deal with people tsking me and shaking their heads in disapproval. Being me, I took the high road (sarcasm here, folks) and snarled at them all, "Call CPS if you want to, but she is getting off of this floor."
   She never did that again, but  she is a perfect example of how a good kid can have a bad moment in public. It can happen to every parent. And parents can't just forgo buying food just because their kid isn't having the best day. So yes, when you go into a public place, such as a grocery store, you are going to deal with the public. The public includes small children. If you aren't in the mood to deal with and be tolerant of the public in general, than I suggest that at this time, you are the person who needs to spend the day at home. Come when you are in a better mood. And wear headphones. So many people wear headphones while shopping, and personally, I think that this is a really great option for people who don't want to hear the masses. But don't expect us cashiers to actually do something to 'shut kids up'. Not gonna happen. I mean honestly, if you are the type of person who would request this, chances are that we like the screaming, squalling kid more than you anyway. Just gonna put that out there. 

God And Science And My Own Beliefs

   One of the things that I tire of the most is being characterized into these narrow little roles; because I believe in God I must therefore be against gay marriage. Because I believe in God, I must therefore not believe in science. Because I believe in God, I must therefore think that anyone unlike me is wrong and the most vile of sinners. Except none of these things have ever been true of me. Because fanatics, small-minded people who live small lives act this way, I must as well. Forget all that we have learned about the fallacy of stereotyping, I believe in God, so I must also be these things. Take no time to get to know me, just believe that I am the same as the last person you met.
   For myself, I have long supported gay marriage, but I have already written a post about that, so while one day I may revisit the issue, in order to build upon my argument, today is not that day. And if you go through my posts, I hope in general there is a theme of treating people with respect, regardless of what they believe and how they differ. I hope so, for this is how I try to live my life. So today, I am going to address my issues about the 'God versus science' issue, which has long been on my last nerve.
   I know that there are people out there who believe that the two seem to be unable to coexist. There are people who use science as a 'proof' that God does not exist at all. Of course, people do not have to believe in God, or my version of God, but science is no proof against what  I believe. Thought I cannot come up with physical, indisputable proof that God is there, neither can people come up with physical, indisputable proof that God does NOT exist. Such things are neither provable nor unprovable; this is why we call the believing in such things faith.
    This is not my argument to force all to believe my way, but to say instead, stop telling me to supply you with proof. The world all over believes in such things as love, yet there is no tangible, measurable proof of that either. You can't bottle love, you can't find a way to measure love nor find the components that make up this feeling. There are many people who would argue that love does not exist at all, although any mother who loves and cares for her child could tell you differently. Any man who has made vows to a woman and been with her for 50+ years may also argue the fact that love exists. But these people who argue love do not get called delusional and superstitious; while I have been called both, even though there are many things in life that we are not yet capable of proving. Go figure.
   Then we have those who do the opposite, and see God as the disproof of science. I've cringed as I've seen people call evolution 'evilution' and demand that science not be taught in the schools because the Bible doesn't mention dinosaurs. God never let any of His creations go extinct. Except that He has. This has been proven. We can find the bones of long extinct animals all over the world, and many more recent animals as well. Some of them face that danger even today. This is knowledge that we have, and arguing against that knowledge only discredits the rest of us, who accept these things as fact.
   As for evolution, yes, I believe that we evolved, and are evolving still. God is an artist, and when an artist puts a hunk of clay down on the potter's wheel, the clay does not look like a pot until the end. Who knows what our end will be. Possibly there will come a time when the fanatics are yelling, "Humans! We didn't evolve from those primitives!" You never know.
   But again, I will stress this over  and over and over, I do not make these arguments to sway someone to my way of believing things.  I say these things only to explain what I believe. I get tired of being judged by those who are determined to believe that every person who believes in God is a bigoted, judgmental person who believes that everyone unlike them is wrong and must be corrected and brought to the right way of thinking. I have never believed that nor have I ever acted like that, and I never will. Yes, there are those out there who will demand that you change your beliefs, and will argue and treat you like dirt when you disagree, and some of those people are Christian (of which there are so many denominations that none of us think alike anyway), but some of them are also Atheists, and some of them are Wiccan, and some of them believe in science alone, and some of them believe in something spiritual, and some just believe in nothing at all. People like this are in every single walk of life. No belief system is without it's share of fanatics and assholes. I am sorry if you have had to deal with people like this; I have as well and I can truly empathize.
   My point, however, in this long-winded post is this: science is neither proof for or against God. Science is just science; a tool that we use to discover and explain the world, and beyond that, the universe. I believe that God gave us this tool, but you are free to believe otherwise,  especially here in the United States. Long have we been a country that boasted freedom of religion, but that also means that while you are free to not believe in the God of my choice, I am also free to believe in Him, and to teach my child to live in the manner that best follows the way I think He would want us to live, and if that differs from your way, chalk it up to diversity and be happy that we are allowed that freedom. So many people in this world are not.
   
   

Blue And Green Food

   All day today and yesterday there has been chaos in the store. In the Seattle area, it's a cheerful chaos, because people are all a-tither about the Seahawks and the Superbowl. And the grocery stores are all running out of blue and green food. I'm just sitting here like

    Not that I really hate football. Because I don't; I just don't care. I have never willingly watched any sport in my life. As a kid, I did have a short, short period where I played soccer. I kept getting in trouble for making daisy chains in the field while I was supposed to be doing more soccer-type stuff, like participating in the game. So needless to say, that was short-lived.
   But I don't hate football. And the boost for the economy in this area didn't hurt things. Everybody is having a Superbowl party, it seems, and all themed to the Seahawk colors. That means people are running about buying blue and green food that they never would have bought otherwise. I'm not kidding either. You know those Jelly Bellies from the bulk candy section? The most expensive candy in the bulk food section? I've had people buy a sack of that junk, and the sack has rang up at $50, and I am not kidding. I'm sitting here thinking, "What's in this junk to make it so expensive, crack???" And even more indicative of an addictive element, is that people will still by those dang jelly beans. But even more people will do a double-take of horror and demand that we take that crack-filled candy of their order unless they are made of gold or something.
   But this weekend, people have been buying those insidious little jelly beans without batting an eyelash, because you can just buy them in blue and green. Jelly Belly is making a whole new crowd of addicts. Seriously, you can buy alcohol and cigarettes for less. I don't get Jelly Belly, what's up?
   But back to business, people have also been a little more friendly these days. I have been invited to several Superbowl parties, from people who have not yet realized that I am an antisocial little troll. I don't hang out; I stay home. All my stuff is here, and while ya'll are all screaming at dudes chasing a ball, I am going to be playing Final Fantasy 13-2, because Final Fantasy 13-3 is fixing to come out, and I need to finish the second one before I can start the third. Due to the fact that I rarely find time to play, I often don't finish games. But I have to finish Final Fantasy!!! That's my game, you can keep your football.
    Of course, I do hope that the Seahawks win. I appreciate the extra business that they have brought my store's way. I also have a few friends who have been die-hard Seahawk fans forever, so it would be cool for them, and I like my friends to have things that they want. I just don't want to personally watch. So go Seahawks, but I am going to find something else to do, because to me, watching football is about as fun as watching paint dry. I can't be the only one that feels that way, right???