Dignity? What's Dignified About Your Behavior?

   There is a lot of hardship in this country right now. People are struggling, and I don't deny that. But some of these people who are struggling, they could be doing just a little bit better if they would just put their pride away and find some work, any work. You know, minimum wage might not pay the bills, but you know what also doesn't pay the bills? No wage at all.
   I lived, once upon a time when I was young and stupid, with someone who refused to work at places like grocery stores or fast food chains because they were 'beneath' him. He stayed at home, not even drawing unemployment because the reason he had been fired left him ineligible for that type of compensation, and watched his family suffer while he refused to even apply at certain places because they would have been a 'step down.' I have very little tolerance left for this type of attitude, so when people come at me with their complaints about how they can't take a job like mine, because those types of jobs are beneath their dignity, they tend to get Marie's ultra-special-glare-of-death.
    I actually had a woman tell me that she was going to go apply for foodstamps because she couldn't find a job in her old field, and she just wasn't going to waste her time applying for jobs that were 'beneath her dignity', which, yes, was the exact phrasing that she used and the inspiration for this whole post. Because when we are talking about something being against people's dignities, I would think living off of foodstamps when you are physically and mentally able to work would be 'beneath your dignity'. I would think that a person looking for work would only be working 'beneath their dignity' if they took work that involved some sort of illegal activity or immoral behavior. That would be beneath your dignity. But ringing up groceries, flipping burgers, waiting tables, these are not beneath anyone. These are not shameful jobs.
   Maybe these jobs are not illustrious, prestigious positions, but hey, no one ever said that you had to make these positions your final destinations. The little gas station job you found could just be a place-holder job until you find something better. You know, there is no law that states that you cannot continue to look for a better position just because you've taken one position already. And while you look for that position, you have a job that keeps a largish unemployment gap off your work history - gaps that can make landing any position difficult because employers tend to not want to hire people who appear to have large periods of time where they are not working. Honestly, sometimes that is kinda unfair, because there are a lot of parents who choose to stay home with the kiddos for a while before getting back into the work force, and their unemployment gap is not due to laziness or lack of motivation, but instead is due to responsibility. But other times, these lengthy unemployment gaps are due to junior not wanting to take a job flipping burgers after graduation.
    You know, we all have our personal dreams and ambitions, and I am in no way saying to give them up. In no way am I saying that; I think you need to chase those dreams and ambitions with everything you have. But if everything you have involves sitting on your couch eating Cheetos while you bitch about the lack of 'suitable jobs', well, I'm sorry, but I don't think you have much. I don't think you are going to reach your goals and achieve your dreams in this manner. And at the end of the day, I have one hundred percent more respect for the person who waits my table than I do for the person who refuses to work at all. I mean, isn't that a given? One is being a productive member of society and the other is... whining. I would think that would be 'beneath someone's dignity'. But then, what do I know of this type of hardship? I'm only a single mom with two college degrees, who rings up groceries. Wait... maybe I do know what I'm talking about here. Get up off your ass and go find a job. 

Drug Tests Are Awesome

   The place I currently work at is a drug free zone, and they take this very seriously. After you interview, the very next thing that you do is take your little pee cup (that they provide) and your paperwork and march yourself down to the happy little health clinic and sign yourself up for the pee test. Not really a big deal.
   After hiring, you are not done with the drug tests, because my work does monthly drawings for a random testing, and since my hire date, I have been drawn five times. Yes, five times. I am a pee test pro. However, the very first time I was drawn, I was not the pro that I am today. As I was given, by the store secretary, my plastic cup and paper work, I was slightly nervous because I had just gone to the bathroom, and I didn't feel a real need to go. I was hoping for one of those looooong waits in the waiting room. But, I was not too nervous, because ever since giving birth to my daughter, peeing has not been a problem for me. I always need to go, so I was pretty sure that I could do this drug test - no problem.
   Was I wrong! When she called me back there, and I was struggling with the impossible task of aiming (when you are a chick) into that little cup, I realized that I couldn't go. Not a drop. My bladder had let me down, and my job flashed before my very eyes!!!
   Shamefully I handed the tech my empty cup, telling her that I couldn't go and asking what I had to do now. She stared at me hard, like I was a bad little pot-head trying to pull a fast one. "You have to sit in there," she said and pointed me towards the little exam room, "Don't close the door."
   She left for a moment and came back with a small pitcher of water and a cup (to drink from, not to pee in). Handing these to me she told me that I only had two hours to manage to pee and that this was all of the water that I was allowed to have. I gulped. I wasn't thirsty, but don't image that the pitcher was big, this was probably about a liter of water. I'm not sure of the exact amount, not a lot, but an awful lot if you are not thirsty. Oh, I felt like I was being forced to drink an ocean of water. And I wasn't allowed to leave that little exam room; I had to stay there for the entire two hours. Luckily, I was giving back my belongings, which they take from you when you first get to the back of the clinic, before you get into the bathroom, so I was able to spend some of the time texting my sister. Other than that phone, all I had for entertainment was one very old magazine, and in that two hours I flipped through the entire thing about three times, forcing myself to drink from the pitcher of water that seemed to be bottomless.
    I took the whole two hours. The tech kept popping in and asking if I needed to go yet, but I couldn't. My bladder was frozen with stage fright and I had nothing. I tried speaking firmly to it, tried scolding that unruly bladder of mine, but nothing worked. I just didn't have any urge to pee what-so-ever.  Nothing was coming, and by this time I had multiple techs, nurses, and doctors pop their heads in at me, giving the stink eye to the silly woman who couldn't pee.
   Finally, my time was almost up and the testy little tech told me that I either had to go, or that she had to report to my job that I had not taken the drug test successfully. I gulped; what did that mean?! Would I be fired?! I had not (and still have not) ever been fired and my poor little pride shrunk from the thought. I couldn't be fired. With one last dire threat to my misbehaving bladder, I took the cup, and went to pee. And I did! I did the 'don't flush' chant, because a flushed toilet invalidates a drug test, and proudly opened the door and handed that tech my cup of pee. Let me tell you, no one has ever been so profoundly relieved to go pee as I was in that moment. My job was saved!!! I was not a druggie and I could prove it!!! The absolute relief that I felt, not because my bladder was bursting, but because my pride was saved and I could prove to all those little techs, doctors and nurses that I was not on drugs.
   Since then, as I have said, I have had many more pee tests, but I have never had that issue again. My bladder now understands that the pee test is not an option, and participates without giving me trouble. Still, because of that one time, I always have that moment when my heart stops because I wonder if I am going to be able to pee.