Why Doesn't My Daughter Know That There Are Monsters In The Closet?

   Bam. I'm back; it's been so long! I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I had computer issues major, and then I guess I just got out of the habit of writing. Such a bad thing for a writer to do. No good. So here I am, back, and with lots of stories to tell you.
   We are going to jump right in with one about my lovely daughter; thirteen now. A moody teenager who likes to sit alone in a dark, dark closet.... Yeah, that's not a joke. My daughter recently decided that her bedroom closet made a great hang-out. She sits in there. In the dark. With a flashlight and her Ipad. What the heck, child!?

The culprit

She uses that purple thing as a pillow and stretches out.

   When I was younger, closets in the dark meant monsters. There  was something in there; I was sure. Some creepy, slimy, green skinned boogeyman that would jump out and eat me alive. The closet being open a mere crack would be cause to frantically jump out of bed and turn the lights on to check that everything seemed good - and then to go get in bed with my mom or my sister. Yup. I was THAT kid.
   This one I've got makes it a freakin' fort. One of her best friends came up to me at the store where I work the other day and asked me, "What's with her and the closet?" Yeah, she is that obsessed with being in the closet. She even takes phone calls in the closet. It's her office; all her friends know that she think thinks the closet is the place to be.
   Really, child?! Don't you know that the closet is where the monsters live?